How can one feel good about themselves...

Or confident, without feeling arrogant/selfish?

I struggle with this so much. I feel I can never tap into that phrase people use "Take me as I am." Or ever feel I can offer someone something...my mind will not allow me to. It overrides it with You are selfish. Or "Who do you think you are?" That was engrained in me growing up. 😟

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uncalled4 · 56-60, M

You'll benefit from looking at something in terms of "What's in it for me?" after you determine that you have something to offer(you do, of course).

Coralmist · 41-45, F

@uncalled4 I guess I minimize anything I may have to offer to nearly nothing. I think "So what I am kind..many are. " Or "so what I have compassion..many do." A guy can find those traits in many women. I can't though do a lot other women may offer (travel..social events). I can't find a way out of that fear/mindset.

uncalled4 · 56-60, M

@Coralmist Sure, but no one has YOUR particular mix and spin on things.

Coralmist · 41-45, F

@uncalled4 Thank you..I appreciate that. 🍁 Now if only those traits could be ENOUGH. I don't offer much else like fun adventure. Mostly due to PTSD. I feel not many would stay with me.

uncalled4 · 56-60, M

@Coralmist Unless you're trying to land Indiana Jones, that may not be an issue.

Coralmist · 41-45, F

@uncalled4 lol. 😛Ty for your kindness 🪻

Coralmist · 41-45, F

@uncalled4 How can one not feel arrogant if they may finally believe they have something to offer?

uncalled4 · 56-60, M

@Coralmist Because believing that is not arrogance.

Coralmist · 41-45, F

@uncalled4 True. If we cannot believe something about ourselves that is true that might be positive too, then what is life but sad and hopeless. Actually thats been my mindset many years. I think finally its OK to say "You know what. I AM A kind person." (As a statement) Because its not like I do it daily or ever put it in someone's face/ boast. THAT would be arrogance. I really needed to try heal this fear.

uncalled4 · 56-60, M

@Coralmist Keep going with it, you're on the right track.