Having something that makes you feel like you're somehow different something that might stay with a person for a lifetime. It is one of the most difficult behaviors to come to terms with. We are ashamed and embarrassed for being flawed , The discomfort and shame about body self- image happens in both men and women.
One of the most ironic things about this unfortunate part of our lives is that what appears to us as a major , really huge and ugly "defect" is in truth, barely noticed and hardly thought about to the person who has seen this particular "flaw" ( Of course there are really some serious malformations like the kid in the movie "Mask" who had what I think was Hydrocephaly I don't really remember. As was the case of the kid in "Mask" some folks overcome the trauma, the ever- present sense of being significantly less than others.
Instead of allowing this self- perceived flaw that is controlling emotional balance, take over the control and perhaps just purposefully draw attention to your person of concern and make a joke about it, Like, look, "My hands were borrowed by Quasimodo ( the hunchback of Notre dame or some other way of drawing a laugh) this can put you both at ease and diminish the thing that had control over you for so long.
People care so much more about the heart and soul of a person that something like clubbed hands have little to NO importance. It may take a little time but most people do overcome this habit of self -disgust that should really be a non-issue. I hope this helps and wish you my very best, (((HUGS))) David.
