You can and you will! Our hearts desire is serve him 💯 percent, our mind and body argue, spirit vs flesh, but God gives grace, mercy, wisdom, understanding..i been where u are, its a hard lonely road but worth ECERY step of tge walk. Lifestyle and heart changes, we all make choices and all have consequences. I pray you find tge destination he has for u gets stronger, keep doing ur work Lord Jesus, in my fellow believer! Strengthen him, guide him and lead him in Jesus mighty mighty name amen 🙏