Victim blaming is real

I can give you an example that sticks with me of why some people don’t want to get involved.

A friend lost her older brother a few years ago, because he was a Good Samaritan, saw a man stomping his pregnant girlfriend, pulled the guy off of her (others were walking past, or worse, watching and recording with their phones).

The guy stabbed my friend’s brother, who later died in the hospital, leaving a wife and three daughters. The police caught the boyfriend, and during his trial, that same woman testified that the stranger had assaulted her for no reason, and her boyfriend was just protecting her !

Luckily, one of those people who’d been recording the incident showed what really happened and the guy went to prison—where the girlfriend, didn’t take advantage of the opportunity to relocate, but visited regularly, taking the child to see his father in prison. And the guy who tried to help her is visited by his family and friends in the cemetery.

Honestly, I used to have that attitude because I was never in an abusive relationship. I didn't know what it was really like until I learned about it from people who were in that position.
So I'm guessing for most people who victim-blame, it's honest ignorance.

Possibly because the blamers were raised to hate weakness. And trained to hate them instead of helping them.

Tbh I do take my responsibility for staying with someone who treated me like crap. I knew better and I had to build the strength through pain. But I let them write all the rules and obeyed. There’s nobody around to blame me, I realized why life was lousy and was able to change it.

Well people have no idea what it is like to be abused and they think its easy just to pick up and leave. They have no idea what the abuser has said to the victim if they try to leave and that they have no choice but to stay because they have no one and the abuser is the only one that can take care of them.

Because they dont understand or have ever been in that situation.

Plus, i imagine, they get sick of hearing some people complain about their awful situation, while never doing anything to fix it or leave it.

From the outside, they see it from the strength of their position, rather than the worn down, scared, and isolated view of the opressed.

Even as one who has been there, i can get frustrated with some still in this position.
Its a sad truth that some people become so broken, their victimhood has BECOME their identity.😞

You are SO RIGHT ... time and time again, the abuser gets left alone with regards to criticism within Society ... but that's the Justice System as well, the criminals get tonnes of support thrown at them, but the victim is deemed as an annoyance when they ask for the same or similar support