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Do you think narcissists pretend or really believe they are empaths and kind and caring?

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DeWayfarer · 61-69, M
Narcissists have no understanding what empathy is. So they can't pretend.

Yet not all narcissists believe in empathy. Some simply don't believe it exists and some believe it's a fantasy.

GPT-4o mini

Narcissists often struggle with empathy, and it manifests in various ways. Many narcissists lack the emotional understanding necessary to genuinely feel or recognize others' emotions, which can make it seem they can't even pretend to empathize. However, the spectrum of narcissism is broad, and not all narcissists are the same.

Understanding Different Views on Empathy Among Narcissists

1. Total Lack of Empathy

Some narcissists genuinely do not understand empathy at all.

They may not recognize emotions in others, leading to behavior that seems cold or indifferent. This can make their relationships tumultuous and lacking in depth.

2. Skeptics of Empathy

Other narcissists may acknowledge the concept of empathy but not believe it’s a real or necessary phenomenon. They might view it as a weakness or perceive it as something that can be exploited. This skepticism can lead to manipulative behaviors as they engage with others primarily for personal gain.

3. Empathy as a Social Skill

Some may recognize that empathy is valuable in social contexts and can mimic empathetic responses to achieve their goals. This "cognitive empathy" allows them to identify what others feel but often lacks genuine emotional connection.

Conclusion

While some narcissists outright deny the existence of empathy or view it as a fantasy, others function on a spectrum where they can theoretically understand the concept but choose not to engage with it meaningfully.

The complexity of this personality trait makes interactions with narcissists particularly challenging, as their motivations and understandings can vary widely.

Me:Two and three could be combined. Three's distinction is only taking advantage of empathy. Acknowledgement in two is not belief.
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You're right; combining those ideas can clarify the different ways narcissists relate to empathy.

That's a valuable distinction—acknowledgment does not equate to belief in the genuine value of empathy.

Here's a revised breakdown that incorporates your insights.

Understanding Different Views on Empathy Among Narcissists

1. Total Lack of Empathy

Some narcissists fundamentally do not understand or recognize empathy. They lack the emotional insight necessary to connect with others, resulting in relationships that feel superficial and unfulfilling.

2. Skeptics of Empathy

Other narcissists might acknowledge that empathy exists but do not believe in its inherent value. They may view it as a weakness or a social construct that can be used to manipulate others.

While they can identify emotions, they often do so with little genuine regard, using this understanding to achieve personal goals rather than fostering authentic connections.

Conclusion

This refinement emphasizes that acknowledgment of empathy can exist without genuine belief in its importance. Such nuances clarify how different narcissists relate to empathy, making interactions particularly complex and challenging.
Magenta · F
Yes. I believe some truly think they are empaths in their distorted self perception. Probably because being or seeming empathetic, kind and caring is what gets them the validation and admiration they crave.

Pretty sure there are a couple here.
Zaphod42 · 51-55, M
I’m think it depends on the person. My mother and my sister are both narcissists. Mother truly thinks what she does is for the benefit of all…beating a child bloody with a wire coat hanger for example teaches them a lesson for their own good.
My sister, however, has a whole delusional world in her head…everyone else is out to get her, everyone else has the problem. She’s literally told me she can never be or do wrong.
cherokeepatti · 61-69, F
@Zaphod42 seems like all of them are either victims or heroes in every story that they tell. They will take something that happened to someone else and replace themselves in the story adding their own personal details.
The most successful one I know is highly empathetic, almost psychic. He's always the most understanding person in any room!
cherokeepatti · 61-69, F
My sister is a narcissist and believes she is an empath. Pretends to be kind & caring publicly in order to manipulate people to give her things or rides or whatever she needs. She is very skillful. She alternates between acting like she cares about people and then goes off on rants degrading others whom she doesn’t agree with for any reason. She is totally delusional.
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@cherokeepatti She's not too smart, is she 🤦🙄
cherokeepatti · 61-69, F
@NativePortlander1970 Ya think????

She thinks she is smarter than everyone else on the planet and smart. Enough to get by with it apparently. 😂
I presume that, to an extent, narcissists project their own opinions and values on others. So they would assume everyone is only looking out for #1 and that a show of empathy is just a neat trick for manipulating others and scoring social points.
Richard65 · M
Narcissists don't have empathy because they think they are the centre of the world and everyone exists to facilitate their selfish desires. I know a couple of them and they are the same. They loathe being questioned about their behaviour (as if nobody has that right). They are toxic, often dangerous. They ruin lives and either don't see that or don't care. Nobody else matters to them. They are owed everything.
@Richard65 Then you never met my mother, she has a strange narcissism where she acts empathetic/sympathetic, then compares herself to them saying how worse she is than them, but not to their face.
ScreamingFox · 41-45, F
Some of them really believe they are kind caring people that know what you need and how to love you. The common theme is delusion.
DareToSayIT · 31-35, M
They don’t believe as they have no understanding of what empathy is, but they have heard from others it’s a good thing to have. They lie about being empaths because they draws them the attention they want.
cherokeepatti · 61-69, F
@DareToSayIT they sure crave that attention and any benefits it may bring them
Justmeraeagain · 56-60, F
I don't know,but they tend to believe their own PR so I suppose.
meJess · F
All so called disorders, narcissistic, sociopathic etc are spectrum based. Some will have the capacity to pretend, some may have empathy to a degree, and some may have no ability to even pretend.
DearAmbellina2113 · 41-45, F
They really believe it.

A coworker of mine tells everyone she's an empath and she uses crystals and tarot cards, etc, but she's the most racist, judgmental, gossipy person ever.
Lilymoon · F
They put on a good show for sure.
Pfuzylogic · M
They empathize with people that support them.
faery · F
Both, sometimes they actually succeed in fooling themselves too
cherokeepatti · 61-69, F
@faery about the third time they lie about something they are convinced
faery · F
@cherokeepatti They're pretty delusional, it's true
SlippingAway · 46-50, F
Some probably pretend, and some don't realize they are narcissists
Adrift · 61-69, F
Narcissists hate to be told they are narcissists.
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swirlie · 31-35
No, not at all, not even close, not even related in subject matter, so why ask that question, Mister Robot?
My mother is a narcissist to the core, her contant volunteering is for self glorification, and will gaslight you into thinking otherwise, it's like she's addicted to it.

 
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