What do you say to someone who has suffered a personal tragedy like the death of a loved one?

Sometimes it's best not even saying anything but just being there for them.

When I lost my father at 23, I learned some things that I have always followed. What hurt me is when people would lie to me to make themselves feel better, or ignore my loss because they knew not what to say. Honesty is what I wanted, I appreciated that. I hated it when people would tell me that he was in a better place, that's not the truth, we don't know where we go after we leave here. I liked it when they would say, "I don't know what to say, I don't know how you feel, but I'd like to listen if you'd like to tell me about them." "My sincere condolences on your loss." These things are the truth.

Just hug them

Unfortunately I had to write a note to a deceased friend's wife just this morning. The friend died last night 2000 miles away. This is what I wrote; X is my wife's name and Y is the friend.
I'm giving this only because you asked for something you might say. I hope it will give you a bit of insight into what might be written when you can't be there to hug someone and otherwise support them (as is the case with my wife and I at this moment).

Quote:
I'm only writing because I can't imagine you wanting to spend time on a telephone at this time.

X and I are deeply saddened that Y has had to leave you behind as he has transcended into God's care.

Please feel blessed that you had a wonderful husband and that you brought much, much happiness to his life too.

We both have been praying for Y's recovery as have the people in our church here. Prayer is an expression of hope and we all had that. Now we'll turn our thoughts to peace, that Y did all he could to stay with you and love you in person for as long as he could. Now he'll continue that love in the peace of his new life. We trust you'll share that peace in your hearts. Think of him often and smile when you do.

Our thoughts of love and wishes for that peace are on our minds for you all today. Unquote.

I hope this helps.

From a personal experience, other people's presence meant a lot to me. I may want to be alone at times, but i still want to see them around so i could just talk to them and just divert my mind from grief.

I think people use cliches. I don't like them. I have found that being sincere is best. I say that I am here if you need to talk. I am here if you need anything. And I only say this if it is true. I think people should follow-up a bit after the funeral. In the weeks that follow, people disappear and the loved ones that are left are forgotten. That is when they are alone and really need company. And food can help show love too. I also like to share a memory of that loved one or how they effected my life. That is special especially on a card. A hug makes a difference because it is caring. People find it difficult to be comforting when someone dies, but people know you care.

Nobody knows what to say, but I know not saying anything says you don’t care, even when that’s not true. So I just muddle through as best I can. I know I can’t make it better, but at least they’ll know I wish I could.

No, one of my friends lost his Dad and I told him how sorry was and know that loss of a parent is hard etc. and he really appreciated it...people want to be comforted by people they know and like...

It’s hard I think the best you can do is just be with them if they don’t want to be alone. Hugs, and I am so sorry for your loss

If it's in person, I'll sometimes offer a hug. In text, email, online - I say sending prayers & thoughts.

Other than I'm sorry, I always let the person know I'm there to listen if/when they want to talk.

It's hard to think of something. If you knew the person, share a personal story. If not, just offer to be there for your friend. When my dad passed, I much preferred hearing how people knew him, how he touched their lives, and candid stories in comparison to the flat .. I'm sorry.

Say nothing. There's nothing more irritating than listening to someone discussing about death when he hasn't experienced loss at all. 😞

Sometimes not saying anything but just being in their presence helps. They may depend on your shoulders to cry on. Your ears to tell how they feel, or stories about what they experienced.
Sometimes saying I'm sorry or my condolences is not enough. Being by that person's side means more.

sorry for your loss.

Nothing, just time will soften it a bit...

Hmm i dont, theres nothing to be said besides its sad and thats already well understood.