It's astounding how someone could throw away four years...

It's like it meant nothing to them. It meant everything to me...I gave it my all and moved mountains but to have that thrown away? I will never understand people, much less like them in a general sense. Not saying there aren't any genuine individuals in the world, I see them here, it's just I don't know how to have some sort of trust with people or grace. Too many people acting like the whore of Babylon. She was lucky I wasn't like that and treated her better than what she deserve. But I finally confronted it tonight. I feel better to have let the beast out and clarify how I feel and how she is treating me. But what's left is another broken soul. Idk how to conduct myself after all this or if having an intimate connection with someone is even worth it anymore.

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WhateverWorks · 36-40

I dunno.. I had plenty of bad experiences before I finally found my partner. Really it came down to some thing you already said in the comments, which is you already know you should’ve left sooner. I wouldn’t let cynics tell you that good relationships/people aren’t out there anymore, because that’s not true. It’s more of a life lesson thing that you can’t meet the right person if you’re wasting your limited time and energy on the wrong person. Looking back, every lousy guy I ever dated, began with me ignoring red flags or cumulative pink flags that eventually lead up to a red flag. We all have our own excuses for why we do this, but it really is that simple. The second I stopped ignoring pink and red flags is when I started experiencing less pain, less frequently, and started having more positive dating experiences. If I hadn’t stopped, ignoring the pink and red flags, then I would’ve never met my fiancé because I would’ve been too mentally/emotionally preoccupied with the most recent dumb ass I’d decided to invest myself into.

PoetryNEmotion · F

If it doesn't work, it doesn't work. At least you found out before you spent decades. Souls don't break. Hearts might yet they also heal if you move forward. Love is worth it. You live. You learn. You are young. Learn to move on. You have decades ahead of you. How else can you learn?

originnone · 61-69, M

@PoetryNEmotion You know a great deal about day to day spirituality, but why do you believe in souls and such? I've never seen evidence there are such things....

PoetryNEmotion · F

@originnone I do not have facts nor stats for you. I know what I know from experience. My background as a white witch. Things I have witnessed. Souls are real. I am sure you would believe if you read on it. It would prove useful to you in the future. What do you believe in?

originnone · 61-69, M

@PoetryNEmotion I'm a nihilist and am not proud or happy with it. I'll read what you recommend.

ScarletWitch · 31-35, F

What my grandma told me was that, that was called the 7 year itch during her time. When spouse's or couples cheat on each other. 4 years is a lot of time to invest in a person. For someone to break that takes a lot of time to gain trust back if at all. Wish you the best

RedGrizzly · 26-30, F

@ScarletWitch ain't that the truth. Anytime anyone with a pulse flatters her she goes running off. It's like chasing the wind. I do recognize Im also to blame for not leaving when I should've. I hoped too much for a change, but I'm free from that hell now. Thank you.

GeistInTheMachine · 31-35, M

Dude, 4, 5, 10. None of it means anything. Rinse and repeat. We are passed the era of stability in relationships. We're all products now.

PaleandPolluted · 36-40, F

Uhh tell me about it. 🙄

familyfunguy · M

If you had a good time for a lot of those four years, were they thrown away just because it didn't end well?

RedGrizzly · 26-30, F

@familyfunguy far and few in between. A lot of it was just playing lie detector.

RedGrizzly · 26-30, F

@RedGrizzly But we had good times. It's just I had uprooted my life from a great career, ended up homeless, got repossessed, got on my feet for a time, been cheated on three times, and still thought she could change because she had shown me some progress....but then she reverted backwards.

Luckylu · 61-69, F

@RedGrizzly I spent 4 years with a man who didn’t work, spent my money like I had an endless supply of it and ended up bankrupt when we finally split. We had an open relationship, even though I never took advantage of it and never engaged with another man, he saw other women frequently. After we split he tried to get me back telling me I was the best of any of them but I refused by then I saw the real person and didn’t want anything to do with him even though we had a child together. He was free to see her anytime he wanted but only did on rare occasions. I tell you this so you will understand that relationships are about learning about the person accepting them as they are or move on. You can’t be in a relationship and hope they will change. People only change when they want to and if they do it for someone else it will never stick. Use every situation as a learning experience. Take note of the warning flags that you ignored, find out why you were so willing to ignore them. Mourn for the end of what you had hoped for then look forward with your new knowledge and take the risk again. Find someone who is worthy of your love and devotion, not someone you hope will finally see you but someone who sees you now. And someone who is grateful for every day they have with you. It won’t be easy but it will be worth it. ❤️

Steve42 · 56-60, M

Pfft.... I was married for 20 years. Tell me about it.

Adstar · 56-60, M

You sound like a genuinly nice guy...

Sadly woman these days.. Mostly the younger ones don't want nice guys.. They are looking for the bad boys.. They see a caring gentle man as a wimp/ simp/ clingy.. Best to avoid then and find a purpose in life..

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