I had no right

So i got a very long angry text from my wife.
She told me i had no right to talk to the kids about being sick. I was just looking for attention and trying to make her out to be the bad guy.
She said it was stupid to worry them over nothing. I am being selfish. Im a asshole and and soon to be x husband and a horrible father.

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OogieBoogie · F

OR.
you could not have told them. And then yeaes later when they find out they'll be mad at you for NOT telling them.
Yes. ...its a shock
Yes....its hard on them
But....
Yes...they will bounce back
Yes.... they will absorb and accept,,and then start asking questions to understand .

Hiding some tough realities, esp health issues from kids ISNT a kind service. Ultimately it will seem to them like you didn't trust them or ...worse, betrayed them.

I know people who have kept illness (or whatever), secret, and have friends who didnt know about their parents illness, and the same things come out every time : "why didnt you tell us?!".
Kids remember so much . Amd they can get hurt by :
....why you couldnt take them to soccer that time
.....why you always slept in the afternoons instead of watching tv with them
.....why you couldnt be just like other parents...

And often they can go through years of feeling its their fault a parent didnt do this stuff with them. Years of needless gulit that affects their emotional development.

Kids are tough . Kids are flexible .
Kids are practical .

You did the right thing dude🤗
You were honest .

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Cigarguy101 · 41-45, M

@OogieBoogie my daughter is wise beyond her years and a old soul at heart. She'd rather read a book then play video games. Her mother says i should not treat her like an adult. But i can't treat her like a child.

My boy i love him but he's all boy right now lol. I fear he takes after me. But he's only 5.

OogieBoogie · F

@Cigarguy101 in the early years girls are cognitive and boys are all motor skills😂

I think its very important to tune urself to each person (child in this case).
Parenting is a child by child case.
And it sounds like she might resent being treated like a child .

I must admit i had to learn to start negotiating with my daughter at 7😂
In fact, it was she who taught ME, that she had opinions, thoughts and preferences just like me . So it was a great learning curve for both of us and has served us well.

Cigarguy101 · 41-45, M

@OogieBoogie my kids are completely opposite of each other. I have to do everything differently with them.

My boy hes wild loves to talk run and just be crazy. He wants to be in the middle of everything

My daughter is quiet. Shy and a bit of a loner. She's that kid that hangs with the grown ups while the other kids are playing. When my grandfather passed her great grandfather she said i miss him so much because she'd always sit by him at family get togetherd and no one would bother her. He has a quiet man to. Without him now people say she needs to visit with the family more. I hate that they don't understand her. I always tell them to let her be her.

My boy is best friends with everyone

My daughter had one best friend

I do have to parent them totally different. I perfectly fine with this.
I do my best to learn what they need from me to be the best father to them.

deathfairy ·

wtf. she clearly is the selfish one.

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Cigarguy101 · 41-45, M

@Threepio i fear this the most. I really do.

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