Why private messaging is so bad
I've seen a bunch of people say the same kind of things I feel about PMs on here. They suck most of the time. I think it's because most people treat them like it's instant chat instead of like a letter or email.
Instead of just trying to make a new conversation every time you see someone online, keep multiple mini conversations going at once. That way if one dies out, there's still something to talk about until you add something else to the conversation. And even if you aren't both online at the same time, there's still a conversation going and its more interesting & engaging. And it's ok if the conversation dies out, at least this way you both know you can have engaging conversation, and you know it will get back to that once you both figure out another thing to talk about.
And for God's sake, don't just say 'hi' (unless you are already pretty close). And saying 'hi how are you' isn't much better. We all know you are going to say 'what are you up to' next. And I'm going to say 'not much' almost every time because if I was up to anything, I wouldn't be answering your message. And if I actually am up to something and I wanted to talk about it, I would bring it up myself.
And if you decide to go that route and 10 min have passed after you asked 'hi. How are you. What are you doing.', the next thing you say better actually move the conversation forward. Take your time and come up with interesting things to talk about, or you will be perceived as boring. It's better to have a slow, engaging conversation rather than an quick, meaningless chitchat.
There's more I could say and I'm sort of just venting. But I'll leave it at this. I'm not trying to be mean or anything, just trying to make suggestions. But I guess for a lot of people this just goes straight out the window cause they're just on here to talk about something very specific and only that. But this post really isn't for them.
Instead of just trying to make a new conversation every time you see someone online, keep multiple mini conversations going at once. That way if one dies out, there's still something to talk about until you add something else to the conversation. And even if you aren't both online at the same time, there's still a conversation going and its more interesting & engaging. And it's ok if the conversation dies out, at least this way you both know you can have engaging conversation, and you know it will get back to that once you both figure out another thing to talk about.
And for God's sake, don't just say 'hi' (unless you are already pretty close). And saying 'hi how are you' isn't much better. We all know you are going to say 'what are you up to' next. And I'm going to say 'not much' almost every time because if I was up to anything, I wouldn't be answering your message. And if I actually am up to something and I wanted to talk about it, I would bring it up myself.
And if you decide to go that route and 10 min have passed after you asked 'hi. How are you. What are you doing.', the next thing you say better actually move the conversation forward. Take your time and come up with interesting things to talk about, or you will be perceived as boring. It's better to have a slow, engaging conversation rather than an quick, meaningless chitchat.
There's more I could say and I'm sort of just venting. But I'll leave it at this. I'm not trying to be mean or anything, just trying to make suggestions. But I guess for a lot of people this just goes straight out the window cause they're just on here to talk about something very specific and only that. But this post really isn't for them.
