AH again I feel this openness of life but now I am in a more chilled ground than I was yesterday.../ Diaries in the sun 📓☀
I am thinking of Louise Hay, she truly has been a remarkable point in my journey. I remember being in the Kung Fu school and whilst going around the yard after the trainings have finished, usually late afternoon, doing the laundry in the dull backyard by myself, I would go up and down, listening to her through my earphones.. I practiced her affirmations at times when I didn't believe them and they felt like practicing a script in theater - I would speak them out loud.
The world is such a tricky place. They are all there so ready to tell you NO, so ready to tell you how you CANNOT, just because they can't - I am not one of them !
When I speak to someone with the intention to do something that I failed doing, I do not bring them down. I tell them, that's been my journey. Perhaps you will make it in this particular domain. I encourage, I bring out the light in their minds.
I know all about I right ? I need it this way now:)
I am having very strange sleep for the past 10 days or so, since I begun working the evening shift, I return back at home around 23.00 and it takes me at least 2-3 hours to sleep. Then between 6-7 I am feeding the stray cats around.
All of my doubts come out in my sleep.
I cried yesterday in the shower and prayed that this will only be allowed to come to life if it is a project guided by God - then I questioned which one God of them all and I realized how confused I am. I have seen too much.
I just have to trust in myself in the end and move forward.
My decisions are being made anyways.
I am stopping the job by the end of the month, and I have applied my proposal to the municipality and it has been forwarded to them through mail already.
So what can I do, rather than stay back and watch.
There is a plan C that makes me trust in life. I thought, if my project won't get funded, I will find another more chill part time, few days a week, not every single day, and I will teach qigong - I am seeing a window here on the island! There are all those city beach hotels, where I could advertise myself with a simple leaflet. And try that out.
Perhaps that for another summer, but I am building up my courage. And I am planning for online qigong classes, once I will reach the mountain at the cat shelter for the winter!
The world is such a tricky place. They are all there so ready to tell you NO, so ready to tell you how you CANNOT, just because they can't - I am not one of them !
When I speak to someone with the intention to do something that I failed doing, I do not bring them down. I tell them, that's been my journey. Perhaps you will make it in this particular domain. I encourage, I bring out the light in their minds.
I know all about I right ? I need it this way now:)
I am having very strange sleep for the past 10 days or so, since I begun working the evening shift, I return back at home around 23.00 and it takes me at least 2-3 hours to sleep. Then between 6-7 I am feeding the stray cats around.
All of my doubts come out in my sleep.
My art project I have come to realize, is more about me giving to the world than me receiving. It is going to knock me out in one way or the other, it is going to fill me with energy too. At moments I know this is for me, at moments I wish I would receive the fundings to do it, at moments I wish I won't so I can grow in a more stable and peaceful manner.
At days I think it is a Godsend idea that I must fulfill, a sort of mission, and at moments I think it is witchcraft and I am being guided to do weird stuff for-who-knows-which-reasons...
At days I think it is a Godsend idea that I must fulfill, a sort of mission, and at moments I think it is witchcraft and I am being guided to do weird stuff for-who-knows-which-reasons...
I cried yesterday in the shower and prayed that this will only be allowed to come to life if it is a project guided by God - then I questioned which one God of them all and I realized how confused I am. I have seen too much.
I just have to trust in myself in the end and move forward.
My decisions are being made anyways.
I am stopping the job by the end of the month, and I have applied my proposal to the municipality and it has been forwarded to them through mail already.
So what can I do, rather than stay back and watch.
There is a plan C that makes me trust in life. I thought, if my project won't get funded, I will find another more chill part time, few days a week, not every single day, and I will teach qigong - I am seeing a window here on the island! There are all those city beach hotels, where I could advertise myself with a simple leaflet. And try that out.
Perhaps that for another summer, but I am building up my courage. And I am planning for online qigong classes, once I will reach the mountain at the cat shelter for the winter!
