I'm really not sure if this therapist is the right one for me?

@deathfairy
I have my deadline, if it doesn't get better I definitely will cut it off.
If it gets worse I'll cut it off sooner.

i respect that, just remember that you don’t owe anyone anything.. and you deserve to be around ppl who actually hear you. @Justmeraeagain

@deathfairy
You might have hit the nail on the head there -I don't feel like she really hears me.

im sry, i had a therapist like that. i would stop talking and she would just keep nodding her head yeah.. 🥹 i switched and couldnt be happier and learned that if I don’t connect to my therapist even a little, i am changing her.

also for her to have compared your husbands death to her cats was so weird. i understand pets are super important, but it’s not your partner, who was actually there for you. @Justmeraeagain

@deathfairy I'm wondering if I do better with a group therapy type thing as I don't have a lot of people to talk to.

i guess that depends what you are trying to work through personally, sometimes group therapy is rly good to have things mirrored back to you.


you didn’t seem to rly like her talking about herself. imagine it’s your therapist talking about herself along with like 5 others. i know when it’s one on one it’s different than if you originally sought out a group thing. there you are open to receiving rather than someone just talking about themselves like she was.

trust yourself, you know what you need. our body knows when it’s thirsty, same way your spirit knows which way you need to go. @Justmeraeagain

@deathfairy
I guess, what I mean is she talked about things in her own life that didn't seem to relate to the grief I was going through.
I think you are right about ending it because I can't excuse that comparing my husband's death to the death of a pet cat I just can't even understand why anybody would do that.
It's like she's just saying something to say something whether it's appropriate or not?

i believe what you are intuitively picking up on and i agree with you. to give her a benefit of the doubt, she may be trying (too hard) to relate to you.. but that was a rly hard reach and very insensitive on her part.

is she new to therapy? the best therapists i ever had just let me talk the whole time and helped to guide me in certain directions letting me practically talk to myself the whole time. they are allowed to relate to you, but you would already feel that connection, and you don’t feel it. @Justmeraeagain

@deathfairy that all makes sense and I dread the next meetings because they just seem hollow

aww.. that’s the worst feeling.. may i ask how long have you been seeing her? @Justmeraeagain

@deathfairy not quite a month

okay, that’s not too bad 🥹 have you been to any therapists before her? @Justmeraeagain

@deathfairy really long time ago and she wasn't much better .
once I told her I didn't think writing down all my blessings was going to make me not depressed she said she couldn't do anything for me and basically was booted out of the office.

lol, how weak. and you aren’t wrong, writing down blessings only works for some things, like rewiring your mentality short term. and a therapist that can’t take a challenge or a truth from their client has things they need to work on themselves.

i would change her to someone else, see how the new one feels and if it still isn’t a good fit, since you mentioned it maybe try the group therapy? again, i am just a random on sw, and i believe you know what you need better than i can ever say.

everything is easier done in thought, and opinions are the easiest thing to give out. you deserve to be heard and seen and understood. i am proud of you for making the time to meet yourself in your therapy space, you deserve a good therapist who can meet you there also. @Justmeraeagain