Nina's Blog - Friday 23rd August 2024

Friday 23rd August 2024, 17:08

Won't be many, possibly not any, pictures for the next few days.

Staying with friends i France for a few days so no skirts, etc. But I am wearing earrings, bracelets, and nail varnish. No reaction at all so far, at least not that I have seen; perhaps the two of them discuss me in bed :-)

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22Michelle · 70-79, T

Whilst I'm only out to my wife and a few close friends, but I've always wondered just how I would come out? Apart from telling my wife whilst we were on the brink of divorcing my friends asked me and I decided I wasnt going to lie or deflect. I just can't see me turning round to anyonemand declaring I'm a bisexual cross dresser, or should that be a cross dressing bisexual?

ninalanyon · 61-69, T

@22Michelle My experience so far is that I'm hammering on doors that are already open. Every time I take a step I discover that no one cares, or if they do that they are kind enough to keep it to themselves, of that they actively approve.

As usual the problems are internal; I just can't rid myself of the thought that one day some one important to me will stand up and say something like: "Enough's enough, you've got to stop this nonsense now!".

But I can't stop. What I thought was a harmless diversion in boring hotel rooms after intense days in workshops has turned out to be a long, slow, process of revealing myself to myself. I don't worry that I don't pass, but I did feel good yesterday when when I was addressed as madame. I'm quite confident that a second look would have revealed that I don't match the gender but it felt good nonetheless.

But what feels even better is that at every minute step out of the closet I feel a corresponding, and correspondingly minute, reduction in stress

But perversely I have now begun to feel mildly irritated that people don't remark on my presentation. Well a few people do but they are mostly not people close to me, just people passing in the street like the statuesque black girl in the centre of Swindon last year who shouted compliments to me from about five metres away.

22Michelle · 70-79, T

@ninalanyon l
Life without drama when you are expecting, and wanting, drama. You're out, it's a massive decision for you, and you want it to be massive for anyone else. So its really annoying that others don't seem to care. I recognise how you're feeling, and it's how it's been for me on the few friends I've come out to. They should be shocked, appalled, even disgusted. I should have to defend myself. Acceptance via a shrug of the shoulders seems just far too low key.