You ever stumble on a post so vile you disbelieve it exists then you scroll through the likes and see someone you liked?

It's not surprising that you feel disappointed after seeing someone you know—or thought you knew—say something vile online.

Human beings are hard-wired to gossip and we expect social interactions to follow certain norms. When someone we know breaks those norms, it can throw us for a loop.

Online interactions can be especially confusing because of the lack of nonverbal cues and the presence of anonymity. We've all heard horror stories about internet trolls and how they can crowd popular websites and spew horrible, hurtful things with seemingly no consequences.

But research suggests that there's more going on than meets the eye.

It's well known that social media platforms are designed to keep us engaged. Dopamine and oxytocin, triggered by the very nature of social media, create a rewarding experience that can quickly turn into addiction. The endless scroll of content triggers our neurocognitive reward system in a similar way to anticipating a winning lottery ticket. How quickly time flies when you're scrolling through Twitter or Instagram!

And the endless stream of information can make us lose sight of our own values and common sense. Scientists have shown that comments on news articles can change our perception of the truth, even if they contain no facts whatsoever. It seems that the same cognitive biases and vulnerabilities can be exploited when we're liking, sharing, and commenting on social media posts.

Perhaps the person whose post disappointed you so much has fallen into a trap set by the very nature of social media. It's possible that they are seeking validation through likes and comments—an insidious form of self-promotion that can quickly spiral into obsession. Or maybe they are just plain old narcissists.

Consider, too, that people often use social media to present a carefully curated version of their lives. Behind the scenes, they may be struggling with all sorts of issues and using the likes they get on social media to feel better about themselves.

Of course, none of this excuses vile behaviour. But understanding the complex dynamics behind online interactions might help you feel less disappointed, or at least help you process those feelings.

In the future, you might want to reconsider your relationships with people who fail to meet your expectations. As the old saying goes: "Show me your friends, and I'll show you your future."

Occasionally people hit the wrong react button..I had a friend who sent me three (3!) screenshots of another friends reaction to my post:

But thy had changed it before I had seen it...there are decent people

🤗

I hate that.