Inside the mind of an incel.

I am a healing incel who is currently in a relapse phase. Despite being described as "kind" and "attractive", I usually try to avoid women not because I find them annoying, but because a part of me genuinely believes that women do not have any sex drives or romantic desires whatsoever. If a woman comes near me in public, I do cringe back because I do not want to accidentally invade her personal space and make her uncomfortable. It's so weird. I feel nervous and afraid when I do this, but apparently I look like I'm about to hit them. I've recently realized just how many girls over the years have tried to show interest in me, but I always managed to gaslight myself into believing that she's just being nice, trying to manipulate me, or she thinks it's rude and gross to interact with her. I know people on here are going to find this funny. I don't give a shit. This is actually a problem, and I know I'm not the only one suffering. I do not want to hurt women. I love women and identify as a feminist. Deep down, all I want to do is treat her right.