I Think Too Much

This doesn't sound like sensitive. It sounds more like insecurity and a feeling of being undeserving. To say you over think things is, indeed, an understatement. I think you could really benefit from an assertiveness training course. It sure helped me. It was easy and quick and that was back when I had to go to a class room to learn it. Now they have online video classes.

https://www.lynda.com/Business-Business-Skills-tutorials/Learning-Assertive/175640-2.html?utm_source=google&utm_medium=cpc&utm_campaign=l1-CA-Search-Biz-Assertiveness&cid=l1-ca:en:ps:lp:prosc:s29:29:all:google:xct-assertiveness_training&utm_content=65210906466&utm_term=assertiveness%20training&device=t

This says it is assertiveness in business, but it works in all life situations. Helps you to deal with things by being assertive instead of aggressive or submissive or just crawling into a hole, and wondering about things.

I hope you will consider looking into assertiveness training. I am sure this isn't the only one available. It is just the first one I stumbled across when I googled it.

Good luck. Feeling insecure is not pleasant and overthinking is self defeating.

Serenitree

I didn't realize how much these three paragraphs could be pulled apart to reveal that much about me. I appreciate the discussion, It's always good to reflect on myself.

The funny thing is that I was told by my abusing ex that I was unempathetic and selfish. To have someone tell me that I seem empathetic is one of the best things I've heard in a long time. Thank you.

I also have struggled with feeling undeserving, and while I feel like I deserve the things I have in life, I can't help but wonder now if I'm just putting up a front for myself to avoid feeling undeserving. I grew up in a verbally and emotionally abusive household, and perpetuated the abuse in those an an abusive relatoonsho for 3 years. It's not far off to believe I harbour those feelings. That's something else I'll need to look into myself for and work on. Thank you, you guys. I really mean it.

@K10vvn. She does sound like a young adult with (not sure empathy is the right word here) but sensitivity for sure. I was exactly where she was in life, and it took a long time before someone convinced me to try the course. I was nearly 30 before I did, and then wondered why I had spent so much of my time wondering why people said what they said, how I should have responded, do these people actually like me or is that just me wishing.

I am not trying to push anyone into anything, just passing along something that I found very helpful. My life was better after the course. I guess it isn't for everyone, but it could help, and it can't hurt.

Serenitree

I say empathy because she is reading others body language and feelings in an attempt to understand them. This is the first para. The rest if it is just personal embaressment or turmoil imo.

The firsf para is an example of really good mental health and empathy even if its adding to unhealthy invasive thoughts. Many people nv even think to look at their involvement from others point of view that often. It may also means she is able to see herself critically from their shoes.


But ur motivations are sensere serenitree. I didnt mean any disrespect.. I just didnt see where u got undeserving. That is a very normal feeling as well..

@Serenitree I definantly might, and this does come off as insecure, but I am sensitive. I didn't bring up the emotional reactions as I should of.
I do have insecurities, but I have gotten to a point to where I can communicate them and they disappear relatively quick. The problem is well after when I'm left alone with my thoughts, I ruminate and can't let go, even after reassurance and me feeling good about an insecurity.

@serenitree.. It sounds like a normal young adult with a lot of empathy.

@gink u can rewire your brain. It takes practice and persistance, but unwanted negative thoughts like that, are normal. Just try to stop, and think more positively instead. Say repetative things in your head like "i am learning" or something to get through it positively. But a lot of us have been right where u r.

I could see that link.. Makes sense.

I think that self esteme image of undeserving is kinda a girl thing to. I mean, ive had it at points, but girls seem to get stuck in it pretty bad... Its sad really because i find guys are usually the ones who dont deserve what they get, and girls bust their asses twice as hard and still dont feel like they did enough... Its kinda wierd to me

No ur empathetic. We project our characteristics on those around us... So ur abusive bf problem saw his own lack of empathy in u... U trusted him, and probably put the pieces together for him. Overthinking it again..

Ur fine though.

It sounds like emotional abuse is a cycle in ur life. Do u feel like u encounter it everywhere?

You're right. Feeling undeserving isn't unusual, but it is uncomfortable. I realize that she didn't use the word anywhere, but her first reaction to being told she is liked, is to wonder why. Yes this screams of feeling undeserving. I know, because 40 years ago, I was her.

Awsome... Again, ur thinking isnt hurting u... Most people in that abusive cycle nv get away from it... Just keep ur own thoughts about self as positive as ur support structure... And address ur u wanted negative thoughts. Ur way ahead of most of us with mental health....

Cheers

I just hope that you will find a way to be happy with who you are. Personally, I have experienced both physical and emotional abuse.
The physical abuse was a lot easier to get over. Being made to feel small and useless and worthless is far harder to get over.

Likewise. The only peace I find, other than being in nature, is when I sleep. I find that I either think too much or not at all...there's no in between with me.

No, I left that abusive relationship for a much better one, and I keep my parents at arms length. I've surrounded myself with positive, supportive friends.

Not much to say about it... just gosh. I feel you again