No time for reflection.

I think if I was a younger guy feeling the way I do I think I would have to recognise that my mental health isn’t great. I think it fair to say I haven’t adapted to civilian life as well as I had hoped. As a result I’m carrying around things that other people might address through medication or something else.

But at this time of my life there’s no pause long enough to finish that thought. My wife and kids, my sister and her two disabled children are all counting on me to earn, to support, to show up and function.

I don’t have the luxury of time to think about what’s happening. I’m not carrying on to be matcho, I’m carrying on because it’s necessary. Too many people are counting on me to do what I do. My family are going through a tough time, so I can’t stop and think. I need to get things done.