I feel very lonely. People outside my room are laughing. I can't go, as I am in a very different mood...

I might consider leaving this Airbnb even though it's been quite comfortable but I feel stuck again and lonely ? I somehow feel rejected from her, the woman living here with her husband and brother. It mirrors my family thing, my mom never paying much attention to me and somewhat rejecting me.
Am I doing this now? Maybe..
They are all laughing hysterically outside.

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being · 36-40, F

Okay. I don't know what to think. I'm obviously overthinking and something is wrong with that.
That woman I was referring to just called me and suggested that I come over to the kitchen so we can make bread together. I don't really know, i am weird what is it

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being · 36-40, F

@deathfairy yes. With what she does now though I feel weird too. Like she's really cold with me and then she cares about me. Definitely my mom and also, myself in some situations? I just hate this hot and cold shower

deathfairy ·

that sounds hard and frustrating. i don’t know how to change that, but you both seem to be dealing with things and it’s also possible she has had her own share of things that make her retract that way. no one just is a certain way for no reason. @being

assemblingaknob · 26-30, F

@being damn. i've never baked bread. you know how?

PepsiColaP

All my life i grew up with adults that thought material possessions were enough to showcase love and care , and when i physically removed myself that suddenly turned into emotional displays ,which i was largely unfamiliar with , so i shut down and im still shut down when it happens and find myself subconsciously surrounded by emotionally unavailable people while also blaming myself for them being unavailable but never believing them when they showcase afffection and love

being · 36-40, F

@PepsiColaP oh dear I get this... Unavailable... When I am in a good shape I manage to not fall for the unavailable and play this game of attention... I'm sorry 😔 I can relate.

NeoNeo · 46-50, M

If you feel uncomfortable then finding another place would be better indeed

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NeoNeo · 46-50, M

@being Is it probably because of different culture and language? I mean, in their view..

being · 36-40, F

@NeoNeo how I see it it's because I have overstayed here. People come and go. I'm staying for too long and I feel strange occupying the place for that long. I'm not talking about my room by the common spaces like balcony and kitchen