I feel very lonely. People outside my room are laughing. I can't go, as I am in a very different mood...

I might consider leaving this Airbnb even though it's been quite comfortable but I feel stuck again and lonely ? I somehow feel rejected from her, the woman living here with her husband and brother. It mirrors my family thing, my mom never paying much attention to me and somewhat rejecting me.
Am I doing this now? Maybe..
They are all laughing hysterically outside.

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PepsiColaP

All my life i grew up with adults that thought material possessions were enough to showcase love and care , and when i physically removed myself that suddenly turned into emotional displays ,which i was largely unfamiliar with , so i shut down and im still shut down when it happens and find myself subconsciously surrounded by emotionally unavailable people while also blaming myself for them being unavailable but never believing them when they showcase afffection and love

being · 36-40, F

@PepsiColaP oh dear I get this... Unavailable... When I am in a good shape I manage to not fall for the unavailable and play this game of attention... I'm sorry 😔 I can relate.