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Living Alone.

My wife has been in care now for a couple of months and the shock is wearing off. She is getting the best possible care, which the kids and I have fine tuned for her to be as content as she can be and have the best available. So my Husband/Family stuff is done. The visitng routine is established and it all works..
Now I am facing the idea of whats next..Rearranging the living to suit me. And the idea of it "suiting me" is one I havent examined in fifty years..The family helped me clear the hoarding out of the downstairs master suite, and I have ordered a new shower enclosure to replace the "designer" one that never worked.. So I can live on the ground level and dodge the stairs..Not that its a problem.. But if I should fall, no one will be there. I am disposing of pantry items I am never going to use. (Does one person really need two large 2 door fridges and a mother in law sized chest freezer?)
I expressed this sense of "aloneness" to my daughter and her solution was "get a dog"..I am a dog person and growing up the kids had dogs in the house.. But she is missing my point..I am not lonely..I have a lifetime of memories and I am content. Its just that I am finding my feet like a kid who just left home for the first time and need to work out what my personal priorities are. Because I am not used to it being about me..I wont be getting a dog just yet..I would like a dog.. But winter is coming.. And those late night dog walks in the wind and rain are something I am not ready for just yet..😷
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ShenaniganFoodie · 36-40, M
Dog = to much work for 70+


NOW,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

Do you miss doing things together ??????

IT DOES NOT need to be romantic,,,,,,,,,,,,,, Just friendship ??????

I lost my Dad 2 years ago ( 93 ) I got my Mum on a cruise, 14 days ( first time ) 89.

She made heaps of friends & loved being around others the same age.

The best for Seniors

[media=https://youtu.be/DC8qJ1fWvfk]
whowasthatmaskedman · 70-79, M
@ShenaniganFoodie I love cruising. Balcony cabin and I spend all day just watching the water go by. Getting up every hour or so to go to the bar for another Coke and crushed ice..I am ok with my own company. And an old dog isnt too much work. And gives you someone to talk to who wont start an argument..😷
ShenaniganFoodie · 36-40, M
@whowasthatmaskedman Yes, if you want a dog.

NO PUPPY
whowasthatmaskedman · 70-79, M
@ShenaniganFoodie Yep. I plan on a senior rescue, when i am ready..😷
meggie · F
You do sound positive and know what's best for you. Takes a while to adjust though, but life can still be enjoyed and you can try new things.
whowasthatmaskedman · 70-79, M
@meggie I am positive about this really. I mean its a blow to have my wife get lost in her own mind like this. But who gets 50 good years and covers the ground we did? I still count myself so lucky for that..Its just a shock to have to realign my life to a different pace and have to work out what I want. Not what I need to get for others..😷
I'm sorry to hear about your wife and I hope you can adjust easily to the new routine, the new normal.
Rickichickie · 56-60, F
That sounds like a challenge and it needs time to get used to the new situation.
Do you miss your wife or can you cope with being alone? It sounds like you're ok with it.
whowasthatmaskedman · 70-79, M
@Rickichickie I am getting used to coping.. I was quite solitary before I met my wife, so she taught me to "family" as it were. Both children of migrant parents its only us and our kids here. So I am not lonely as such. Plus her dementia was something i have been dealing with myself since before covid. And she wasnt an easy person even before..But the tipping point came when i just didnt have enough left to manage her 24/7 and my kids stepped up after the family Christmas dinner.. In summary, I am not lonely. I am just not used to the peace the quiet and the freedom to make my own plans..😷
Rickichickie · 56-60, F
@whowasthatmaskedman it's good that you have children to support you and it helps to know that your wife is in good care.
Notsimilarreally · 31-35, F
I just got a little shih poo, he is potty pad trained! No walks! A breed to consider.

Good luck finding your routine, and to your wife 🌼
being · 36-40, F
@whowasthatmaskedman plus you will be doing him a favour by giving him a home for his older days... Most people want puppies or younger dogs.
whowasthatmaskedman · 70-79, M
@being I get that. But the last thing I need is to chase a puppy around..If I decided to go full dog I would probably open up an old dogs retirement home..😷
being · 36-40, F
FreddieUK · 70-79, M
Sounds like you've got good family support and are thinking things through carefully before acting. Wise to take things cautiously and working through the implications before deciding.
whowasthatmaskedman · 70-79, M
@FreddieUK I do have good family support.. My wife and I raised two great kids. Couldnt have done any of it without her..😷
swirlie · 31-35
When eventually getting around to choosing the perfect rescue dog for companionship, this is what I recommend....






One has to remain flexible at all times should any unexpected opportunities cross our path without having to worry about `ol Fido getting fed back home.
Musicman · 61-69, MVIP
God bless you 🙏🙏🙏 I am fastly approaching that time myself. My wife refuses to do anything for herself. She is losing her muscles rapidly. I am fine at the moment, but sooner than later I won't be able to take care of her any longer. When that time comes I'll have to make arrangements for her. ☹
whowasthatmaskedman · 70-79, M
@Musicman Everyone is different. So I wont go through my horror stories. You will have your own when the time comes. But it will have to be done..;😷
being · 36-40, F
Why don't you remove your mask for starters... now that none is around... 👉🏼😷👈🏼
being · 36-40, F
@whowasthatmaskedman wow interesting story! 😺 But still I don't get why the mask, is there a language barrier thing..? 🤔
whowasthatmaskedman · 70-79, M
@being The Loan arranger..........The Lone ranger..... "Who was that masked man?"
[media=https://youtu.be/N9-o-YDcq6I]
being · 36-40, F
@whowasthatmaskedman I see now 😁 thank you!!! Didn't have the reference 😂😂
🥷🏻
Pretzel · 70-79, M
make your changes showly - and don't be afraid to shift course!
whowasthatmaskedman · 70-79, M
@Pretzel Yes. We built a multi generational home, with a grandaprent apartment inside. Seperate kitchen living room, bathroom etc and both mothers/in law came and lived there after their spoused passed. it was a great arrangement, with a little support available on the other side of the door.and someone to watch the kids and walk the dog on tap..Later it was used for family visiting from overseas. I always figured we might move in there and have one of the kids move back.. But as my daughter says "Wheres the swimming pool?"😷
Pretzel · 70-79, M
@whowasthatmaskedman all that building and NO pool???

humph :)
whowasthatmaskedman · 70-79, M
@Pretzel I was actually going to put one in when the kids where younger. (Not dangerously young) But the council rejected the permit. So it never happened.. But my daughter made sure they have a nice one put in at their place..😷

 
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