Living Alone.

My wife has been in care now for a couple of months and the shock is wearing off. She is getting the best possible care, which the kids and I have fine tuned for her to be as content as she can be and have the best available. So my Husband/Family stuff is done. The visitng routine is established and it all works..
Now I am facing the idea of whats next..Rearranging the living to suit me. And the idea of it "suiting me" is one I havent examined in fifty years..The family helped me clear the hoarding out of the downstairs master suite, and I have ordered a new shower enclosure to replace the "designer" one that never worked.. So I can live on the ground level and dodge the stairs..Not that its a problem.. But if I should fall, no one will be there. I am disposing of pantry items I am never going to use. (Does one person really need two large 2 door fridges and a mother in law sized chest freezer?)
I expressed this sense of "aloneness" to my daughter and her solution was "get a dog"..I am a dog person and growing up the kids had dogs in the house.. But she is missing my point..I am not lonely..I have a lifetime of memories and I am content. Its just that I am finding my feet like a kid who just left home for the first time and need to work out what my personal priorities are. Because I am not used to it being about me..I wont be getting a dog just yet..I would like a dog.. But winter is coming.. And those late night dog walks in the wind and rain are something I am not ready for just yet..😷

This page is a permanent link to the reply below and its nested replies. See all post replies »

Pretzel · 70-79, M

make your changes showly - and don't be afraid to shift course!

whowasthatmaskedman · 70-79, M

@Pretzel True.. I briefly considered selling up. I hardly need 2 kitchens three bathrooms and 4 toilets..But its a mistake my mother made after my father died and she was moving every couple of years after, trying to find "home" again.. She didnt even settle when she movied in here with us..So I have determined to stay put, but downsize into the ground floor..Everything I want is convenient here..😷

Pretzel · 70-79, M

@whowasthatmaskedman yeah and we tend to do better with incremental changes - taking time to clear space and get rid of clothes.

sounds like you could almost have a duplex :)

whowasthatmaskedman · 70-79, M

@Pretzel Yes. We built a multi generational home, with a grandaprent apartment inside. Seperate kitchen living room, bathroom etc and both mothers/in law came and lived there after their spoused passed. it was a great arrangement, with a little support available on the other side of the door.and someone to watch the kids and walk the dog on tap..Later it was used for family visiting from overseas. I always figured we might move in there and have one of the kids move back.. But as my daughter says "Wheres the swimming pool?"😷

Pretzel · 70-79, M

@whowasthatmaskedman all that building and NO pool???

humph :)

whowasthatmaskedman · 70-79, M

@Pretzel I was actually going to put one in when the kids where younger. (Not dangerously young) But the council rejected the permit. So it never happened.. But my daughter made sure they have a nice one put in at their place..😷