Self Acceptance
Caring
No Notifications
Only logged in members can reply and interact with the post.
Join SimilarWorlds for FREE »

Do you fee like you owe it to people to let them know what’s bothering you about them when you push them away?

For me different variables will yield different answers to this but I am not sure I’m really being fair in some scenarios
If someone does something that I feel is obviously disrespectful to me I don’t feel the need to tell them that I didn’t like it. I think I make it pretty clear through social cues. And if they keep acting disrespectful I eventually push them away.
When I have told people in the past it seems like they either got defensive and suddenly started spitting out ways I’m not perfect, acted like I was crazy for interpreting it as disrespectful or acted apologetic, stopped for a while only to go right back to it eventually.
ShepherdBard
31-35, M
16 replies 74 views 9 hrs ago9 h
Share Link
Top | Newest First | Oldest First
pripyatamusementpark
No not really ...
We are all adults ..if they can't figure out that how they treat someone isn't ok ...then that is their problem.. it's not my job to explain that
+ 4 · Reply · Translate · 9 hrs ago9 h
Frostcloud · F
im more or less in the same approach style as you are. like sometimes it should just be obvious why i dont want to talk to you anymore after you keep doing a bad thing. but like 99% of the time i end up trying to talk about it so i can know i did everything i could do to salvage the relationship. but i have a gentle approach and i tend to be ignored, dismissed, or they get defensive and mad at me. but i know i did what i could
+ 2 · Reply · Translate · 9 hrs ago9 h · Edited: 9 hrs ago
CountScrofula · 41-45, M
It depends on how close we were and what I feel I owe them for their time with me. Genuinely. Or how mad I am, or how outrageous the problem is. Lots of context to consider.
+ 2 · Reply · Translate · 8 hrs ago8 h
deadgerbil · 26-30
Really depends on how I feel about the person and if I want to waste the energy
+ 2 · Reply · Translate · 9 hrs ago9 h
BadAssTunaBotHoe
I don't even think about it really, I just close off. I'm pretty clinical when it comes to removing people from my life and that's due to a combination of emotional damage and medication. I've pretty much ended up the kind of person that I used to be on the receiving end of and perhaps that's why, but no I won't likely say what's bothering me, I'll just be gone. Bot life is complicated.
+ 1 · Reply · Translate · 7 hrs ago7 h
greensnacks · 31-35, F
I do like to give the occasional explanation (if they weren't disrespectful) and tell them how I feel and how their actions /words made me feel.

It gives the chance to correct the behavior and basically gives a second chance. If the behavior continues, as if nothing, then no more explanation is needed tbh.

It either case, you owe no one explanation about why have you decided to cut them off.
+ 1 · Reply · Translate · 7 hrs ago7 h
HannahSky · F
It really depends on the person and situation. If it's someone I'm close to I'll say something if I can, and if it's important to me. If it's not someone I'm going to stay in contact with in the long run, it might not be that important for me to try to explain. It's more important to take the steps for the distance. It really depends on who the person is though and my relationship to them.
+ 1 · Reply · Translate · 6 hrs ago6 h
Casheyane · 31-35, F
Some do not have the maturity to handle things. But yeah, in truth, you do not have to tell. More often than not, it's just that ghosting tends to lead to misunderstandings because of unexpressed sentiments and thoughts unaddressed.
+ 1 · Reply · Translate · 8 hrs ago8 h · Edited: 8 hrs ago
NerdyPotato · M
Yeah, I feel like I need to explain it for my closure. Otherwise I'll keep wondering if they make all kinds of wrong assumptions about me and maybe start spreading rumors based on a misunderstanding.
+ 1 · Reply · Translate · 9 hrs ago9 h
StarLily · 51-55, F
I guess it would depend on the kind of relationship you have with them. If they refuse to be accountable for their disrespectful behavior then it's only natural to want to be distant from them.
+ 1 · Reply · Translate · 6 hrs ago6 h
Prettybratbi1tch · 26-30, F
If they aren't aware
+ 1 · Reply · Translate · 9 hrs ago9 h
CrazyMusicLover · 31-35
No. I just want my peace and then, I don't think I'm that special that they would miss me anyway. I generally think I'm no great contribution to anyone's life that they would suffer a loss if I go away. Especially to those who behave in a way that drives me away.
+ 0 · Reply · Translate · 5 hrs ago5 h
CheezeburgerBrown · 36-40, M
Im like that 100%. I attract users and abusers. I dont make my boundaries clear to these people. And when i finally had enough and stick up for myself i feel bad when i go overboard on snapping at them
+ 0 · Reply · Translate · 8 mins ago8 m
This comment is hidden. Show Comment
empanadas · 31-35, M
Depends on the person
+ 1 · Reply · Translate · 8 hrs ago8 h
This comment is hidden. Show Comment
 
Post Comment