How do you get rid of the toxic belief, that if you think well of yourself.. you are arrogant?

@Penny Right. I need to start viewing all my beliefs differently. If you were ever positive..at all.. about yourself or other things..my mom who is abusive and literally a devil, would say to me
*Do you think you're better? Than others? *(For anything even lightly positive.) It felt like a punch. I NEVER want to act better than others so I began to never think or say anything positive about me. It was a horrible way to live.

@Coralmist that is terrible. just be you and if anyone doesnt like it they can go pound sand. if you feel like you need to improve aspects of yourself then by all means try but i think being your best self is being your authentic self the most. emotional abuse can be horrible i know it. have you tried doing positive affirmations?

@Penny They never really stick.. although I haven't spent more time on affirmations. I am reading a book on trauma and it's eye opening. I hope it shifts these engrained beliefs that I'm inept and not worth much. Ty so much 🪻

@Coralmist good luck. keep on trying with the affirmations. dont give up so easily. my favorite one is "i am loved" if you cant see it as a current reality think of it as a future builder. the important part is to knock away any negative response, like dont think of reasons why your statement migtht not be true. instead take action to make it so if necessary or temper your affirmation to include any current situation while looking forward.

@Coralmist also, your mom may have just been trying to install a sense of humility in you not realizing how damaging her words were for you. people can communicate differently so id try to be understanding. i try to give people the benefit of the doubt and hope you can have a good relationship with your mother.

@Penny oh no she broke me down EVERY day and wanted me to not even laugh..or talk. It was horrible. I have PTSD now. She would twist even good things around daily..so that I would think I'm dumb ...bad..or wrong. Even if you didn't grab a bag from her as SOON as she got in..she'd scream saying Don't you think of ME??? It was hell. But humility is a good thing yes. I have way way too much that I have anxiety that I'm not enough.

@Coralmist aww. im sorry. it does sound awful. she sounds overly critical and demanding.

@Coralmist to be bombarded liek that everyday must be very difficult. i can understand why its upsetting. you sound stronger than that to let it get you down for too much longer. its good to talk about things and get them out. keep on healing. ❤ youre going to be okay 🤞