If you have fairly good self esteem...

After chatting with you for over a decade, I can definitely say you have a unique personality, and a self!

It is a good one.

As for me, I just feel, "I am what I am." And as I've aged, I've stopped caring too much about what others think about me, or what I think about others.

I almost died in 2023. That changed my outlook. I realized I was dependent on others, so it was easier to ask for help after. Also, I realized some things really did not matter, so I've lightened up. Also, being closer to retirement helps. After I retire I do not need to care about anything but paying bills and taxes, and grocery shopping. I should hire a maid.

I don't feel negative about myself nor excessively positive.
There are many things I need to work on and I accept that.
I do not sit around thinking of my positive traits, but can name them if someone asks.
I think about my negative traits in terms of improving myself.
I speak up when it is necessary and sometimes feel it is not worth the drama so, let them think whatever they want.
I don't need to prove much, is my philosophy.
I don't like conceit and if I thought all day about how wonderful I am, then I believe that would happen.
Back in the day we believed that neither hating yourself or thinking about yourself all the time was the way to get self esteem, instead it was to accept yourself warts and all and work on what needs changing.

I have learned to treat myself like a friend. It's not always easy. I slow down and think on who I am and remember I've done a lot of good, so the good that comes to me is safe to accept. I am honest with myself. I wear what I like, embrace my uniqueness.

It's been a process, and I still sometimes want to be unkind to myself. But I remember I am no more or less deserving than anyone; we're all imperfect people, we've all been hurt. So even if I'm not my best self every once in a while, that's a lesson.

I never expect perfection, just appreciate and accept what's real about me.

I only think about my positive traits on an "as needed" basis. Take, for instance, the dreaded "job search". When looking at listings, I'm very realistic about what I can do, what would be a challenge, and what I clearly cannot do. Sometimes a very lucrative job is listed. I apply. What's the worst that could happen?

But thinking about "myself" is not something I do consciously. It sounds like you have been questioned so often by narcissists that your default is to then question yourself. That was their way of controlling you.

Replace "why me? with "why NOT me?"

Also, look at the people who enjoy your company here. Take that as evidence that you're doing the right thing. You're not on trial. You're not under investigation. That was then. You have many fine qualities, and people are drawn to that.

I have boundaries and I adhere to them . If someone disrespects them I am done with them . If they can't show me baseline respect than whats the point ?

This Lady is 👏 amazing
[media=https://youtu.be/__CJvENAq0g?si=XAF5QxUSE38-Ao8U]
Give your self esteem a reboot with her chanel

*tuning in for tips*