If you have fairly good self esteem...

How does that feel , day to day?

Do you think about your positive traits and remind yourself of them, or give yourself compassion in positive or negative moments?
Do you speak up for yourself ?

These are only a few scenarios I'm thinking go with liking oneself. I have not felt I even had a self for years, so I'm trying to learn what real self esteem looks like.

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uncalled4 · 56-60, M

I only think about my positive traits on an "as needed" basis. Take, for instance, the dreaded "job search". When looking at listings, I'm very realistic about what I can do, what would be a challenge, and what I clearly cannot do. Sometimes a very lucrative job is listed. I apply. What's the worst that could happen?

But thinking about "myself" is not something I do consciously. It sounds like you have been questioned so often by narcissists that your default is to then question yourself. That was their way of controlling you.

Replace "why me? with "why NOT me?"

Also, look at the people who enjoy your company here. Take that as evidence that you're doing the right thing. You're not on trial. You're not under investigation. That was then. You have many fine qualities, and people are drawn to that.

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uncalled4 · 56-60, M

@Baybreeze You are ACCEPTED and RESPECTED here. It's a no narc zone.