OogieBoogie · F
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Beatbox34 · 31-35, M
@OogieBoogie I'm just not ready to deal with it. You probably know that I'm all over the place given what I commented the other day. That's actually why I stay high. To prevent myself from going deeper into the rabbit hole. But I seem to have made certain users sad. I really didn't have that in mind but again I don't know what to do.
I really feel broken and helpless. I can't even feel anything. I'm just a zombie.
I really feel broken and helpless. I can't even feel anything. I'm just a zombie.
OogieBoogie · F
@Beatbox34 one of the hardest things I had to learn was ....
"you are not responsible for other people",
(unless you have kids and such)
One of the reasons I am here is to build resilience: to know when to care, and when not to.
To learn my trigger points and control my responses but keep clarity.
(I don't always achieve it, but getting better).
We ALL have the right to freedom of speech.
So we are going to see shit we don't like, stuff that horrifies or angers or saddens us - it is our choice if we choose to respond to it.
Life isn't just about what you put in, its also about what you choose to take out of it, and absorb.
Feeling responsible for how others feel is a natural mechanism for many, but you have to learn to know when its valid, and when its not.
And online really isnt valid.
We all choose to involve ourselves, or not.
Personally, from what I have learned through life is...
you are responsible for your own reactions to others, not THIER reactions to YOU.
No wonder you feel so bad.
You allow yourself to carry too much emotional weight.
Its not your job to care for everyone else's emotional health - that's up to everyone else .
And believe me ....wjen you allow others to guilt trip you, shame you, anger you or even trick you into changing HOW you are ....you will eventually lose WHO you are.
(Hence: why you feel like a zombie -.you are losing your sense of self.)
Online isnt like real life - we can chose to walk away and ignore a situation/response/user , whenever we want.
So - if you are leaving for others, you are leaving for the wrong reason.
If someone can aggressively post about political crap, or someone can post about sexual fetishes, drug use, publicly shame other users against TOS - why can't you post about yourself .
What makes your posts any worse than these?
Nothing.
In fact....yours are tame compared to what some others post.
Think about it, if you flip this emotional dynamic that you have going on, then its be fair to ask , "Why aren't they being responsible for they way they make YOU feel?"
See?.
We can only control ourselves, not others.
Dont take the weight of the world on your shoulders.
Its not your job.
"you are not responsible for other people",
(unless you have kids and such)
One of the reasons I am here is to build resilience: to know when to care, and when not to.
To learn my trigger points and control my responses but keep clarity.
(I don't always achieve it, but getting better).
We ALL have the right to freedom of speech.
So we are going to see shit we don't like, stuff that horrifies or angers or saddens us - it is our choice if we choose to respond to it.
Life isn't just about what you put in, its also about what you choose to take out of it, and absorb.
Feeling responsible for how others feel is a natural mechanism for many, but you have to learn to know when its valid, and when its not.
And online really isnt valid.
We all choose to involve ourselves, or not.
Personally, from what I have learned through life is...
you are responsible for your own reactions to others, not THIER reactions to YOU.
No wonder you feel so bad.
You allow yourself to carry too much emotional weight.
Its not your job to care for everyone else's emotional health - that's up to everyone else .
And believe me ....wjen you allow others to guilt trip you, shame you, anger you or even trick you into changing HOW you are ....you will eventually lose WHO you are.
(Hence: why you feel like a zombie -.you are losing your sense of self.)
Online isnt like real life - we can chose to walk away and ignore a situation/response/user , whenever we want.
So - if you are leaving for others, you are leaving for the wrong reason.
If someone can aggressively post about political crap, or someone can post about sexual fetishes, drug use, publicly shame other users against TOS - why can't you post about yourself .
What makes your posts any worse than these?
Nothing.
In fact....yours are tame compared to what some others post.
Think about it, if you flip this emotional dynamic that you have going on, then its be fair to ask , "Why aren't they being responsible for they way they make YOU feel?"
See?.
We can only control ourselves, not others.
Dont take the weight of the world on your shoulders.
Its not your job.
Beatbox34 · 31-35, M
@OogieBoogie Well said.
I'm just trying to reduce taking the emotional burden on my shoulders. You're not wrong on that part. This is one of the reasons, I hate being an empath.
I need to build boundaries. I need to bring myself into control. I completely agree with you on that.
This is why I chose to walk away from the person who broke me. I didn't say anything but I just decided to stay away.
I'm just trying to reduce taking the emotional burden on my shoulders. You're not wrong on that part. This is one of the reasons, I hate being an empath.
I need to build boundaries. I need to bring myself into control. I completely agree with you on that.
This is why I chose to walk away from the person who broke me. I didn't say anything but I just decided to stay away.
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Beautywithin · 36-40, F
Beatbox34 · 31-35, M
@Beautywithin I hope for that so bad
Mamapolo2016 · F
Extant1 · M
Take it from someone that kinda has that same martyr trigger… don’t!
Take care of yourself!
Hard or not hard on someone else is really no longer your concern.
Change your name, change your profile, do whatever you need to do to clean slate it, but there’s no point to your own further unhappiness.
Take care of yourself!
Hard or not hard on someone else is really no longer your concern.
Change your name, change your profile, do whatever you need to do to clean slate it, but there’s no point to your own further unhappiness.
Extant1 · M
@Beatbox34 Your reality has changed. Good, bad, painful, …doesn’t matter. You’re in a different reality. Believe it or not, even good and honest reflections are a waste of time and energy right now. Put both feet into the current reality and begin. You’ll have years to reflect….
But who are you in the absence of those things… because that is who you are right now, none of it exists …
What are you, as if it never did!
Don’t let your next thought or compulsion keep something alive that isn’t…
It never happened
But who are you in the absence of those things… because that is who you are right now, none of it exists …
What are you, as if it never did!
Don’t let your next thought or compulsion keep something alive that isn’t…
It never happened
ExperienceDLT · M
valobasa4ever · F
valobasa4ever · F
Unostentatiousmice · 41-45, F
@valobasa4ever I’m going to burn journals and maybe a table.
valobasa4ever · F
froggtongue · M
Beatbox34 · 31-35, M
@froggtongue Thank you so much man 🤗
Lilliesandlight · 41-45, F
Beatbox34 · 31-35, M
@Lilliesandlight Thank you so much 🤗
AngelKrish · 26-30, M
Unostentatiousmice · 41-45, F
Beatbox34 · 31-35, M
@Unostentatiousmice Thank you so much. I really need to stay away for a while. I'm just battling with a lot.
MyNameIsHurl · 41-45, F
Beatbox34 · 31-35, M
@MyNameIsHurl I'm just in a dark place mentally. There's a lot I need to deal with.
Axelerator · 31-35, M
Beatbox34 · 31-35, M
@Axelerator I don't know man. I just don't come with the intention to offend anyone.
I really even take down posts when I feel it's hurtful to others. I'm not that guy. I feel shit but when I know I'm a problem, I walk away. I don't care. I just never return.
I really even take down posts when I feel it's hurtful to others. I'm not that guy. I feel shit but when I know I'm a problem, I walk away. I don't care. I just never return.
Axelerator · 31-35, M
@Beatbox34 Honestly for someone who seems to care so much about not hurting others, I can't imagine your posts are that bad. Notice how you only get support here as well. I don't think you have to worry so much about this.
Just stay and enjoy yourself or vent or whatever you want to do, and just be a decent person and you'll be fine.
Just stay and enjoy yourself or vent or whatever you want to do, and just be a decent person and you'll be fine.
Beatbox34 · 31-35, M
@Axelerator So far, that's how I've been. I just joke. Help people if I can but I don't make derogatory remarks against anyone.
The person I talk about is myself or people who hurt me irl. I won't even post something remotely about a user from here lol.
The person I talk about is myself or people who hurt me irl. I won't even post something remotely about a user from here lol.
REMsleep · 41-45, F
Well to each his own but there are tons of people on here and you aren't responsible for how they feel about what you say.
Every person on here has made someone mad or hurt. Some people get hurt easily. You can't take that on. Not telling you what yo do but this is just an online space for chatting.
Don't get too wrapped up into what is said here tons of it is baloney.
Every person on here has made someone mad or hurt. Some people get hurt easily. You can't take that on. Not telling you what yo do but this is just an online space for chatting.
Don't get too wrapped up into what is said here tons of it is baloney.
bijouxbroussard · F
Gangstress · 41-45, F
iamonfire696 · 41-45, F