Well this is my final post here for now

@OogieBoogie Thanks for your kind words

@OogieBoogie I'm just not ready to deal with it. You probably know that I'm all over the place given what I commented the other day. That's actually why I stay high. To prevent myself from going deeper into the rabbit hole. But I seem to have made certain users sad. I really didn't have that in mind but again I don't know what to do.

I really feel broken and helpless. I can't even feel anything. I'm just a zombie.

@Beatbox34 one of the hardest things I had to learn was ....

"you are not responsible for other people",
(unless you have kids and such)

One of the reasons I am here is to build resilience: to know when to care, and when not to.
To learn my trigger points and control my responses but keep clarity.
(I don't always achieve it, but getting better).

We ALL have the right to freedom of speech.
So we are going to see shit we don't like, stuff that horrifies or angers or saddens us - it is our choice if we choose to respond to it.

Life isn't just about what you put in, its also about what you choose to take out of it, and absorb.

Feeling responsible for how others feel is a natural mechanism for many, but you have to learn to know when its valid, and when its not.

And online really isnt valid.
We all choose to involve ourselves, or not.


Personally, from what I have learned through life is...
you are responsible for your own reactions to others, not THIER reactions to YOU.

No wonder you feel so bad.
You allow yourself to carry too much emotional weight.
Its not your job to care for everyone else's emotional health - that's up to everyone else .

And believe me ....wjen you allow others to guilt trip you, shame you, anger you or even trick you into changing HOW you are ....you will eventually lose WHO you are.
(Hence: why you feel like a zombie -.you are losing your sense of self.)

Online isnt like real life - we can chose to walk away and ignore a situation/response/user , whenever we want.

So - if you are leaving for others, you are leaving for the wrong reason.

If someone can aggressively post about political crap, or someone can post about sexual fetishes, drug use, publicly shame other users against TOS - why can't you post about yourself .

What makes your posts any worse than these?

Nothing.
In fact....yours are tame compared to what some others post.

Think about it, if you flip this emotional dynamic that you have going on, then its be fair to ask , "Why aren't they being responsible for they way they make YOU feel?"

See?.

We can only control ourselves, not others.

Dont take the weight of the world on your shoulders.

Its not your job.

@OogieBoogie Well said.

I'm just trying to reduce taking the emotional burden on my shoulders. You're not wrong on that part. This is one of the reasons, I hate being an empath.

I need to build boundaries. I need to bring myself into control. I completely agree with you on that.

This is why I chose to walk away from the person who broke me. I didn't say anything but I just decided to stay away.