I’m a very kind positive person.

However the second I feel threatened I turn into something I’m not and I can’t control myself and will say the most cut throat things even a demon inside a monsters body couldn’t conjure the levels of rage and hatred I feel.

I don’t understand where it comes from, I go 0 to 60 and it hits me as sudden as car accident and I act upon the violent impulses and urges to inflict harm on those I feel wronged me.

In person an argument or something as small as a disagreement won’t last long because it totally shakes my world and I’m the first to start swinging.

When I’m in these mind frames I cannot be reasoned nor rationalized with I just want to fight and will say ANYTHING to get the fight kicked off.

If somebody gives me a dirty look it’s something that sends me off the deep end and it’s not that big of a deal I know. But ti me it is and I can help it.

If I catch you staring at me I’m gonna wave to break the awkward tension I feel you’ve created for us both, if you look at me like I’m the weird one or give me a dirty look I’ll sound off!

I have been trying to get this under control as it’s not something I’m proud of, I don’t know if it’s anger or insecurity that gets me like that but I HATE IT!

Any advice on how to not be that person? I’m normally kind and chipper I don’t care for drama or arguments, I just don’t know where that bad person comes from.

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CardiacKintsugi · 61-69, F

trying to learn the same thing. I have been told to take a deep in breath, count 4, release to a measured slow count before replying. It's a work in progress, and i'm practicing. It's getting better most of the time.

Sleepysheep · 26-30, M

@CardiacKintsugi I notice breathing helps quite a bit especially when I can’t listen to music, deep breaths in through the nose and out through the mouth.

Maybe a lack of oxygen to my head is why I get so easily frustrated. Not angry or mean I have a fog in my brain takes me a lot of mental power to process stuff especially if it doesn’t interest me.

When my focus is broken I get a little cranky because it’s taking me a lot to comprehend even the simplest of things.

OogieBoogie · F

@Sleepysheep it could be stress. Stress can make brain fog.
And @CardiacKintsugi is on the button . There is a 4,7,8 breathing technique that is basically a nervous system bio hack .
Breath in for 4 count
Hold for 7 count
Release slowly over 8 count .

When you breath in it activates your sympathetic nervous system, (the one that deals with stress response - fight flight thingy), it's why one hyperventilates when crying or freaked out ...getting the body prepped for threat

When you breath in, it activates the para sympathetic nervous system l, (the one that deals with being calm and relaxing ).

So the idea is , you trick yourself into calm by breathing out for longer periods than you breath in.
It's basically reverse hyperventilation .

Sleepysheep · 26-30, M

@OogieBoogie I do have quite a bit of stress so this is good to know, the pressing the pressure points thing doesn’t work for me.

I have heart and problems and have to take inhalers, so I hit the treadmill because I heard it help with breathing and your heart!

I feel like death when I’m on the treadmill but I notice some improvements with my breathing, but for something called “cardio” it hurts your heart so bad! 😂

OogieBoogie · F

@Sleepysheep that's brilliant.l!
It's all coming out now in medical research, how important exercise is for mental health .

Good for you..
...even if you feel you are dying att😂

Sleepysheep · 26-30, M

@OogieBoogie haha I look like a TRAIN WRECK warmed over when I exercise that’s why I prefer the treadmill at home! 🤣

After 10 seconds of not even running but pacing you’d think somebody was trying to start an old shitty diesel truck!

By 20 seconds I’m sweating and almost passing out wheezing away like a broken flute! 🤣😂

I do this for an hour to an hour and a half on the treadmill! It’s agony but you get more used to it lol

I’m a slim person so the knees and ankles always feel like they are gonna bust right off of my legs!

I do feel better about myself when I keep in shape it makes me feel accomplished! 😁

It’s just not a pretty sight to see me dying on a row machine 🤣