i keep my focus on what is right before me. you can't control the rest. i never look back. i too have had a painful past

I have had severe abuse for decades growing up...I can identify. I'm finding this new book to be helpful, called "CBT for dummies". (Cognitive Behavioral therapy). It's Def interesting. CBT is a method of observing our trauma or thoughts in different ways to find peace or healing. Like, 'Im so inadequate " can be rethought into "I have done many things pretty well."

I cannot pretend to know how your experiences have affected you, ai can tell you as a survivor of Abuse, Betrayal and a myriad of other issues, I am able to move forward by counting my Blessings and giving all thanks to GOD.

First of all, I'd recommend trauma informed therapy. Meanwhile, read The Body Keeps Score. I've learned a lot from this book and its valuable self help strategies.

I have a little experience here. So listen up... YOU DONT!.. Everything that has happened to you thusfar has informed who and what you have become and there is no undoing any of it. So forget it..
What you can do is decide what you will do tomorrow with everything you know.. They say the abused abuse..But an abuse vuctim can also know better than anyone how simple validation and support can bring out the shine they never got and decide that was who they were going to be. Decide to do the very opposite of the lessons you learned. You may not always get it right. But sometimes all it takes is not to be wrong,...😷

Sounds from what u said CPTSD. Did u get a diagnosis?

ACT works...Acceptance, Commitment, Therapy. Find an ACT therapist near you.

You forgive it. To forgive means to 'let it go'.