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Is 32 years too old an age to get one's life together?

At 32 I look back at my life and realize I've never really lived life. I say that because I spent most my life living for and doing things for other people that I never really focused on what was really important, which was myself.

At this age I thought I would have my own place, a car and A decent amount of money in my account. Instead I am living with my parents and helping them out with rent. I work from because of Covid as a graphic designer. I really want to move out of NYC. I have been living here for over 20 years, I honestly hate it here, because it is not the same city I fell in love with. But with $500 in my checking and as little as $7,000 saved up not sure if I can. I want to move to Connecticut, Ohio or Minnesota and just rebuild my life. With my salary I have found places I can afford, but it means I would stop helping my parents. I am the youngest of 4 kids, but feel I am the oldest. Because I am the only helping my parents, and the ones my older siblings come to, to borrow money. Despite the fact they have been working way longer than me and make more than me.

I know younger guys than me who are always on vacation, driving foreign cars, flashing money, women etc... on social media. I know social media can and is deceiving, and most of them are not living the type of lives they claim to live. But with the gifts and talents I have, I feel if my parents really invested in me and if I focused on myself I could of been somewhere big.

Been living with anxiety and depression for many years because of this. To the point that I am sick and tired of being sick and tired. I have tried moving but my parents don't want me to. But at 32 I need to live my own life. I don't see myself moving forward unless I move from NYC. I have so many options to choose from, but I will have to disappoint my parents. But at this point I may have no choice. I am tired of living my life safe and living for others. Tired of spending so much money, time and effort for others with little to nothing in return. These days having a heart is not good. Because people will take advantage of it. The people around me seem to successful and at a good place in life. It is time for me to live for myself.
SW-User
NYC is unreal in terms of expense. Relocation would be a good financial option for you, if you don't mind being separated from the old folks. Maybe it is time to make a getaway and become a new you.
QuietEd2019 · 31-35, M
@SW-User ahh yeah seems regular in America to have some fascination with U.K. 🥰
SW-User
@QuietEd2019 My friend said I was the only person she knew, other than herself, who was interested in these things. In her case, it makes total sense as she visited her family in Ireland several times each year.
QuietEd2019 · 31-35, M
@SW-User ahh right ☺️ Well I am glad you like U.K. shows movies and actors
ChampagneOnIce · 51-55, F
I think we’re constantly learning and growing and redefining our priorities in life. There’s nothing wrong with questioning, but my advice would be to think about what you want, what’s important and meaningful to [i]you[/i], not what you think you [i]should[/i] have or do by a certain age. Find some things you enjoy doing, and do them! Getting caught up in the “shoulds” will only feed your anxiety and depression.

Regarding your parents, you’re an adult, and you can make your own choices. If you move somewhere that makes you happier, you could always send them money to help them out. You could also ask your siblings to help. It shouldn’t all fall on you.

I’ve found that living life on my own terms is best for me, and those I care about accept that.
lonelydreamer · 31-35, M
@ChampagneOnIce Thank you for the feedback and advice. My parents are like helicopter parents, they feel they know what is best. They don't like to take risks in life and feel they have to hold my hand. They underestimate me and my ability to take care of myself. They think their way is the only way. At this point am done waiting for their approval or blessings. Just going to pick a place and make the move.
ChampagneOnIce · 51-55, F
@lonelydreamer Good. I think that’s a great idea!
JupiterDreams · 31-35
It's never too late.
lonelydreamer · 31-35, M
@JupiterDreams thank you
Blodyn · 22-25, F
Dear Lonely Dreamer. First of all you not alone. I have read all your story and I understand. I truly do. I am one of six kids and I am the only one still at home. It suits me fine. I have zero money and I am still a student.
But if I were in your shoes, I would move away. It will be hard. It's not easy leaving what you're used to. Your parents may be upset but they are older than you and more resilient than you think. They will get used to it. Doesn't mean you can't keep in touch. Just go. Tell your siblings to bugger off. Shock them into realising you are no longer their servant.
Sorry, that's Blodyn's view on the whole shenanigans!
Be you!
lonelydreamer · 31-35, M
@Blodyn Thanks for the feedback, really appreciate it. It helps a whole lot. I do plan to move in the next coming months.
JohnnyNoir · 56-60, M
I went back and finished college at 30. I've had no regrets for doing so. It's never too late
Blodyn · 22-25, F
I agree. Last year we had a textiles graduate who was 92. My class has all sorts of ages. I love being here. A guy aged 70 in Year 2 gave me a piece of cedar. I love it so much. @JohnnyNoir
lonelydreamer · 31-35, M
@JohnnyNoir Thank you, appreciate it
lonelydreamer · 31-35, M
@Blodyn Thanks for sharing.
Blodyn · 22-25, F
I was interested in your first few sentences. But I never read the rest!
lonelydreamer · 31-35, M
@Blodyn lol, thank you
Blodyn · 22-25, F
@lonelydreamer Thank you. I feel guilty now. I should have made the time to read what you took the trouble to write.
lonelydreamer · 31-35, M
@Blodyn lol no worries :)
Sublearner · 31-35, F
I'm going to say I feel that way too. It's ok to feel thst way. Just try to find some better people. Good luck to you.
lonelydreamer · 31-35, M
@Sublearner Thank you, appreciate it.
SwampFlower · 31-35, F
Move down south. You could live comfortably with what you already have in a lot of places.
lonelydreamer · 31-35, M
@SwampFlower Thanks, I am actually planning to move to Ohio.
Sublearner · 31-35, F
I'd say try Minnesota. I've heard good things but try a not super big town.
lonelydreamer · 31-35, M
@Sublearner thank you, appreciate it
Unlearn · 41-45, M
I remember asking this question when I was 32...
lonelydreamer · 31-35, M
@Unlearn thank you
SW-User
It’s the youngest you’ll ever be, so no
lonelydreamer · 31-35, M
@SW-User thank you
Mrballs · 70-79, M
Unless you are 75... it's never too late
lonelydreamer · 31-35, M
@Mrballs thank you
SW-User
lonelydreamer · 31-35, M
@SW-User thank you

 
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