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Is 32 years too old an age to get one's life together?

At 32 I look back at my life and realize I've never really lived life. I say that because I spent most my life living for and doing things for other people that I never really focused on what was really important, which was myself.

At this age I thought I would have my own place, a car and A decent amount of money in my account. Instead I am living with my parents and helping them out with rent. I work from because of Covid as a graphic designer. I really want to move out of NYC. I have been living here for over 20 years, I honestly hate it here, because it is not the same city I fell in love with. But with $500 in my checking and as little as $7,000 saved up not sure if I can. I want to move to Connecticut, Ohio or Minnesota and just rebuild my life. With my salary I have found places I can afford, but it means I would stop helping my parents. I am the youngest of 4 kids, but feel I am the oldest. Because I am the only helping my parents, and the ones my older siblings come to, to borrow money. Despite the fact they have been working way longer than me and make more than me.

I know younger guys than me who are always on vacation, driving foreign cars, flashing money, women etc... on social media. I know social media can and is deceiving, and most of them are not living the type of lives they claim to live. But with the gifts and talents I have, I feel if my parents really invested in me and if I focused on myself I could of been somewhere big.

Been living with anxiety and depression for many years because of this. To the point that I am sick and tired of being sick and tired. I have tried moving but my parents don't want me to. But at 32 I need to live my own life. I don't see myself moving forward unless I move from NYC. I have so many options to choose from, but I will have to disappoint my parents. But at this point I may have no choice. I am tired of living my life safe and living for others. Tired of spending so much money, time and effort for others with little to nothing in return. These days having a heart is not good. Because people will take advantage of it. The people around me seem to successful and at a good place in life. It is time for me to live for myself.
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ChampagneOnIce · 51-55, F
I think we’re constantly learning and growing and redefining our priorities in life. There’s nothing wrong with questioning, but my advice would be to think about what you want, what’s important and meaningful to [i]you[/i], not what you think you [i]should[/i] have or do by a certain age. Find some things you enjoy doing, and do them! Getting caught up in the “shoulds” will only feed your anxiety and depression.

Regarding your parents, you’re an adult, and you can make your own choices. If you move somewhere that makes you happier, you could always send them money to help them out. You could also ask your siblings to help. It shouldn’t all fall on you.

I’ve found that living life on my own terms is best for me, and those I care about accept that.
lonelydreamer · 31-35, M
@ChampagneOnIce Thank you for the feedback and advice. My parents are like helicopter parents, they feel they know what is best. They don't like to take risks in life and feel they have to hold my hand. They underestimate me and my ability to take care of myself. They think their way is the only way. At this point am done waiting for their approval or blessings. Just going to pick a place and make the move.
ChampagneOnIce · 51-55, F
@lonelydreamer Good. I think that’s a great idea!