Is it tacky to tell guests to bring food/refreshments to a baby shower? Normally, guests bring gifts.

P.S.: I'm not the hostess, nor am I close to the mother-to-be. Just wondering because, every culture is different. Do the same etiquette rules still apply? Currently find myself in this scenario.

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hami1091 · 41-45, F

Are you supposed to bring a gift or is the request to bring your own food/drinks in lieu of the gift? Things are so different today, I didn't want a baby shower when I was pregnant with my daughter and I was thrown a surprise baby shower and then I was criticized when the inner mouth runner informed everyone I donated mostly everything I got. I'm old, I have a stable income, my baby didn't need anything so I could see the in lieu of gift bring some refreshments, but at the same time had I known about the baby shower I would have provided those too. :/ I have no idea how these things work these days, cause in my case I got one I didn't want and your situation if it is in lieu of perhaps the mother has everything but still wants people to contribute to the shower kind of like a pot-luck thing, otherwise she is either too broke to have a shower and needs things or she is too entitled and wants everything, you decide, I don't know her.

DiamondPrincess89 · 31-35, F

@hami1091: Originally, a gift - either via registry or wrapped up. It's only after (or before, in some cases) people RSVP'd, random calls and texts were asking people to bring specific meal platters/dishes.

DiamondPrincess89 · 31-35, F

@hami1091: I'm sorry you had to experience that, too. I don't think it is appropriate (by a long mile) to go against the wishes of expectant parents. You sound like a humble person, and that shouldn't be thrown off by misjudgment (considering, you did not want a shower in the first place).

Angelwithbrokenwingxo · 26-30, F

Ummm yes it is. If I have to bring food and gifts what exactly am I going to this event for? What is this person doing? Isn't it their event? Shouldn't they take care of the food aspect of it? Yes I'd think so.

DiamondPrincess89 · 31-35, F

@Angelwithbrokenwingxo: Exactly. I share your sentiment, too.

Groofydorkgerdo · 56-60, M

I think it depends, if the mother/couple have the funds, by all means, they should provide for the shower. If not then it is acceptable to accept help.
If they have people planning the shower for them, then it should be either the planners or the mother/ couple, or a combo of the two.

That being said, I have yet to attend a baby bshower were the mother or four provided everything. It was always like a lot luck type of thing.
Mybcircle of people aren't rich nor am I, we so.we do what we can to pitch in.

DiamondPrincess89 · 31-35, F

@Groofydorkgerdo: That's good. I'm aware that most cultures do things differently (which is fine). However, the MTB and her family are wealthy. I'm also appalled that they would ask anybody to bring something extra, because not everyone that was asked are close friends of the family.

Groofydorkgerdo · 56-60, M

@DiamondPrincess89: Oh yeah, that's isn't cheap, tacky and tasteless.

SW-User

Tacky. Bring gifts AND food and drink?

DiamondPrincess89 · 31-35, F

@Peekaboo: Lol, yep! I find this very foul.

Mondayschild · F

I think mothers or sisters should provide a cake and coffee or soft drinks. Nothing else is needed.

DiamondPrincess89 · 31-35, F

@Starshine: For real. This event is scheduled between typical meal times, which is what I don't get.

Mondayschild · F

@DiamondPrincess89: I am used to just taking a gift to showers unless I am in on the planning.

DiamondPrincess89 · 31-35, F

Greetings Everyone! I appreciate your responses and points-of-view. To be honest, I've been to four baby showers in the past and there was never a time when the hostess(es) would demand that people bring food in addition to gifts. I've also done some research and, traditionally, family members will help out if necessary. In some social circles, only the closest knit of friends will offer to assist. Otherwise, it comes across as rude.

bijouxbroussard · F

Sounds like a "pot luck". That is unusual for a baby shower.

DiamondPrincess89 · 31-35, F

@bijouxbroussard: Well, the invitation never stated "potluck" in the first place. Just a gift registry and "bring yourself out as we celebrate".

bijouxbroussard · F

@DiamondPrincess89: In that case, it sounds pretty shabbily arranged. Generally, snacks are provided by the host, anyway. They can't afford that, they really can't afford to do this.

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