Introduction - straight into the deep end with my crazy life
Hey 馃憢 I鈥檓 Seana, I鈥檓 25 and going through some crazy, terrifying and stressful life events right now. I鈥檓 looking for advice and support online and came across this site so here I am, just wanting to see what it鈥檚 like, if it suits me and hopefully I can get some advice and give back to others on things I might know a little something about.
TLDR: my dad鈥檚 wife just had a baby born addicted to opioids, we have been asked to take her. Looking for any advice on basically anything you think could help us with this whole journey
For a bit of context, our situation is pretty weird. This baby is actually both mine and my husband鈥檚 sister. I started dating him when I was 14 and two years later my dad and his mom started dating. We were on and off through teenage years but ultimately stayed together and are now happily married. He was never close with his mom and I only saw my dad every other weekend. Them being together was weird for us but not too crazy because he was mostly with his dad and I was with my mom.
His mom and my dad had their first kid when we were 18. Totally unexpected, but his mom had him as a teenager and is way younger than my dad so it shouldn鈥檛 have been as a big a shock as it was. They had their second 3 years later. First year of our second sister鈥檚 life was normal, then my step mom started using heroin again. She wasn鈥檛 allowed around the girls after an incident so my dad left her. My dad has always been mentally unstable and struggled with the girls, especially during covid, so we moved in and helped him with them.
We stayed for like 9 months until he seemed to be doing really well. Then we would just go over regularly to help out and see the kids. Eventually we noticed him slipping again, his house was a disaster, the girls just weren鈥檛 being looked after properly and it was a horrible environment. He was violent and unpleasant a lot of the time. We spoke to him about it and he reacted very badly.
After some stuff went down, the girls came to live with us and he could only see them supervised at our house. They were aged 5 and 2.5 at this point. Him coming to see them faded out, and he got so hostile with us that we honestly quit trying, and have just focused on the girls since then. They are now 4 and 7, and we haven鈥檛 seen my dad since early last year.
Little did we know he had actually moved my husband鈥檚 mom back in to their home, and claims to have been trying to get her clean by himself so they could have the girls back.
We found this all out two weeks ago when we got a call from social services to say my husband鈥檚 mom had given birth to another baby, born addicted, and asked if we can take her when she鈥檚 discharged from hospital. My dad is the father, and is apparently so mentally challenged right now he thought they would be allowed to take the baby home no questions asked. He was arrested in the hospital for assaulting a member of staff.
We went to see the baby straight away and she is struggling. She鈥檚 really small and going through withdrawals pretty bad. I broke down when I saw her, she is so tiny and helpless and in pain. I can鈥檛 believe we knew nothing about her existing until she was born. We have discussed it and will take her home with us when she鈥檚 ready. I鈥檓 terrified and numb right now but she needs us. We have visited every day and seen her improve little by little, we do skin to skin with her and are learning how to soothe her. Her eating is improving a lot but her sleeping isn鈥檛 great still. It sounds really stupid but the weirdest thing to me is we have to NAME this little girl! I stare at her everyday and no name feels right. Juniper/Junie stuck for a few days but I鈥檓 back to calling her baby girl now. So I鈥檓 open to suggestions!!!
If anyone has advice or suggestions in general I am open to anything. We don鈥檛 know much about babies and know less about babies with NAS
All we have at our house for a baby right now is a Moses basket my mom gave us that is very old, and a huge pile of diapers and wipes from friends. I went to buy her clothes but was so overwhelmed I only came out with two packs each of white vests and white sleep suits.
I need a car seat, pram, bottles and steriliser, baby wraps, clothes, blankets, binkies and probably a million other things I鈥檓 forgetting. I don鈥檛 know where to start
The clothes I got are in the laundry room yet to be washed because I鈥檓 so scared of washing them with the wrong detergent and hurting her skin
Doctors said we probably only have a week or two until she can come home!! And right now she can鈥檛 get home because we have no car seat, she has a bed that she probably won鈥檛 sleep in, and nothing else - not even a name! I鈥檓 stressed out so bad right now
If you鈥檝e read all this then thank you! I don鈥檛 know exactly what I鈥檓 looking for but just typing this out makes me feel better so here it is
I don鈥檛 know what the vibe is here and I will make a less heavy post by way of introduction soon as I have time. I promise I鈥檓 not always this much drama.
TLDR: my dad鈥檚 wife just had a baby born addicted to opioids, we have been asked to take her. Looking for any advice on basically anything you think could help us with this whole journey
For a bit of context, our situation is pretty weird. This baby is actually both mine and my husband鈥檚 sister. I started dating him when I was 14 and two years later my dad and his mom started dating. We were on and off through teenage years but ultimately stayed together and are now happily married. He was never close with his mom and I only saw my dad every other weekend. Them being together was weird for us but not too crazy because he was mostly with his dad and I was with my mom.
His mom and my dad had their first kid when we were 18. Totally unexpected, but his mom had him as a teenager and is way younger than my dad so it shouldn鈥檛 have been as a big a shock as it was. They had their second 3 years later. First year of our second sister鈥檚 life was normal, then my step mom started using heroin again. She wasn鈥檛 allowed around the girls after an incident so my dad left her. My dad has always been mentally unstable and struggled with the girls, especially during covid, so we moved in and helped him with them.
We stayed for like 9 months until he seemed to be doing really well. Then we would just go over regularly to help out and see the kids. Eventually we noticed him slipping again, his house was a disaster, the girls just weren鈥檛 being looked after properly and it was a horrible environment. He was violent and unpleasant a lot of the time. We spoke to him about it and he reacted very badly.
After some stuff went down, the girls came to live with us and he could only see them supervised at our house. They were aged 5 and 2.5 at this point. Him coming to see them faded out, and he got so hostile with us that we honestly quit trying, and have just focused on the girls since then. They are now 4 and 7, and we haven鈥檛 seen my dad since early last year.
Little did we know he had actually moved my husband鈥檚 mom back in to their home, and claims to have been trying to get her clean by himself so they could have the girls back.
We found this all out two weeks ago when we got a call from social services to say my husband鈥檚 mom had given birth to another baby, born addicted, and asked if we can take her when she鈥檚 discharged from hospital. My dad is the father, and is apparently so mentally challenged right now he thought they would be allowed to take the baby home no questions asked. He was arrested in the hospital for assaulting a member of staff.
We went to see the baby straight away and she is struggling. She鈥檚 really small and going through withdrawals pretty bad. I broke down when I saw her, she is so tiny and helpless and in pain. I can鈥檛 believe we knew nothing about her existing until she was born. We have discussed it and will take her home with us when she鈥檚 ready. I鈥檓 terrified and numb right now but she needs us. We have visited every day and seen her improve little by little, we do skin to skin with her and are learning how to soothe her. Her eating is improving a lot but her sleeping isn鈥檛 great still. It sounds really stupid but the weirdest thing to me is we have to NAME this little girl! I stare at her everyday and no name feels right. Juniper/Junie stuck for a few days but I鈥檓 back to calling her baby girl now. So I鈥檓 open to suggestions!!!
If anyone has advice or suggestions in general I am open to anything. We don鈥檛 know much about babies and know less about babies with NAS
All we have at our house for a baby right now is a Moses basket my mom gave us that is very old, and a huge pile of diapers and wipes from friends. I went to buy her clothes but was so overwhelmed I only came out with two packs each of white vests and white sleep suits.
I need a car seat, pram, bottles and steriliser, baby wraps, clothes, blankets, binkies and probably a million other things I鈥檓 forgetting. I don鈥檛 know where to start
The clothes I got are in the laundry room yet to be washed because I鈥檓 so scared of washing them with the wrong detergent and hurting her skin
Doctors said we probably only have a week or two until she can come home!! And right now she can鈥檛 get home because we have no car seat, she has a bed that she probably won鈥檛 sleep in, and nothing else - not even a name! I鈥檓 stressed out so bad right now
If you鈥檝e read all this then thank you! I don鈥檛 know exactly what I鈥檓 looking for but just typing this out makes me feel better so here it is
I don鈥檛 know what the vibe is here and I will make a less heavy post by way of introduction soon as I have time. I promise I鈥檓 not always this much drama.
