Please answer honestly and help me. No sugarcoating. My ex best friends won’t reconcile with me.

We haven’t spoken since May 2022. So last weekend, my friends scold me off big time for being a “toxic” friend to them and taking them for granted which I don’t believe. They SCREAMED at me.

1. One time my girl best friend got pissed at me because I wasn’t honest about the dress she wear and I screwed her over for not being honest and sugarcoating it. I didn’t say it was OK but it’s definitely wear it. She told me I screwed her over and she was embarrassing and yelled at me for making her look like a fool.

2. They complained that I sat back and let them do all the work planning outings and one of my other girl pals called me out for being lazy and not putting in my share. I make worse but not saying anything.
The next few times, they made me choose EVERYTHING. They made me chose the place, day and time. It was exhausting.

3. Also they told me that when I asked for the truth and they give it to me, I would scream and get mad at them and blame them for making me feel bad (well they did). I would twist words around to make them look bad. They also complain that I never wanna hear what they say or how they feel.

I tried to apologize but they wouldn’t let me finish and said they’ve had enough to hear the word “sorry” because it don’t mean shit to me anymore. They warned me one day if I push too far I will loose what I had, “true friends”. They said they want nothing to do with me anymore, I’m exhausting, and they don’t enjoy my friendship or being around me anymore. They bluntly told me that they’ve made plans without me and it’s so much better without being around trash.
Wow…….they roasted me and now they refuse to reconcile with me. 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
I said sorry. Please help!

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AmmieBell · 18-21, F

I would leave them alone tbh. It sounds like you were both bad friends to the other side. You should have been honest. You shouldn't have yelled at them and tried to act like it was their fault for telling you the truth when you ask for it. And you likely made them feel like you didn't care about hanging out by not contributing to the plans, and then we're upset when you actually had to, despite making them do that several times before without any assistance.

On the opposite end, while I totally understand her being upset for you lying about a dress, she was the one who bought it. So she needed to take part of the accountability there, even though she still probably should have been upset with you over it. Instead of forcing you to plan everything, they should have told you either you needed to help contribute to the plans or simply not come at all. But honestly, I don't think they did anything wrong with the third one. The responsibility for that falls on you.

It sounds like there are a lot of things that you did that you don't take accountability for or try to fix. And while there may have also been some things that your friend didn't take accountability for or try to fix, they are now saying that they don't want to be friends anymore. And you need to respect that. If you've already apologized, if you already tried to reach back out to them, if you've already tried to fix things and it hasn't worked, then you need to leave them alone and respect that they don't want to be friends anymore. You can't force anybody to be friends with you, and even if you could, the Friendship would be an awful one if they only kept you there because they felt like they had to and not because they actually wanted you around. That would only make it even more toxic. Leave them alone. A friendship that one side doesn't want is a friendship worth seeking out. Think about what they said, work to better yourself so you don't make the same mistakes again with the next friend you make, and try to move on.

black4white · 56-60, M

Time to lose that friendship....... laters :-) and they are NOT true friends.

Just let it go and use it as a learning lesson...

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