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I miss my friends but they refuse to be friends again! Is this a wake up call

I apologized for weeks. They refuse to be friends with me again because I would sugarcoat stuff and I wouldn’t be honest. Or in other words, I don’t say what I always mean. They told me I always used my disability (autism) as an excuse to make them look bad after they told me the truth.
They have disabilities too. They say I get mad when I’m the one that asked for the truth and twisting everything up to make them look bad.

One time my girl best friend got pissed at me because I wasn’t honest about the dress she wear and I screwed her over for not being honest and sugarcoating it. I didn’t say it was OK but it’s definitely wear it. She told me I screwed her over and she was embarrassing and yelled at me for making her look like a fool.
Hey! I didn’t make her get the dress.
They complained that I sat back and let them do all the work planning outings and one of my other girl pals called me out for being lazy and not putting in my share. I make worse but not saying anything. My best friends agreed with her. I wasn’t being fair. They didn’t side with me.

The next few times, they made me choose EVERYTHING. They made me chose the place, day and time. It was exhausting. My guy best friend told me until I start being a friend and be honest, and direct, don’t call us or hang with us. They said I couldn’t be with someone that can’t be honest and sugarcoat things to make herself feel better.
I texted them this four weeks ago and apologized again but they refused. It’s been two in a half months!!
This past weekend the cussed me out and called me out big time because of what an asshole of a friend I was and I pushed them away. They yelled that they’ve been nothing but true and amazing friends to me. Even though they’ve done something to upset me too and they weren’t always nice, but we’re human.

Why are my friends being assholes?!

 
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