What do you think I should do? I need serious advice

My ex texted my little brother yesterday telling him that her mom passed away. We haven't spoken to each other since a nasty altercation on April 26th. She told my brother to tell my mom the news. When I heard, I called her from my brother's phone to extend my condolences and asked to be notified about the funeral arrangements.

The thing is, I just don't know if I want to really see her in that state, being all vulnerable and all. I am not over her yet and have been doing a lot to heal and seeing her like that WILL bring me back to square one and I CAN'T go back there. Dear god I just CAN'T.

I'm just wondering why she even reached out to my family and not me directly. I felt like she was trying to get my attention indirectly. I'm just conflicted and don't know what to do.

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firefall · 61-69, M

Dont do it, do not go to the funeral, it'll be an emotional catastrophy for both of you.

It seems to me that she went the indirect route to be considerate to you but still informing others that she thinks would want to know (i.e. your mom) - but I'm assuming there that they actually knew each other. If not, then yeah it was some subtle indirect attention-getting.

Either way, Dont Go.
Unless you want to reconcile