I’m lonely…..none of my friends wanna speak to me and they said I’m way too much of a handful and have toxic behavior….Am I a jerk?

My friends called me out BIG TIME earlier because I wasn’t hearing them out and whenever they call me out on my crap they told me I am always turning shit around (pardon my language) and making them them bad guys when I was the one being toxic. They said when I ask for the truth and they just say why bother I'm just going to tell and scream at them like a pathetic little baby that doesn’t get her way and it’s embarrassing. They bluntly told me that I screwed them over a couple times because I was always beating it around the bush and sugarcoat crap instead of being straightforward and blunt with them and a true friend wouldn’t screw them over and be blunt and straight up, especially when their friend screws up. I’ve gotten after them for acting dumb but they said I wasn’t honest about my guy friends cooking and my girl pal’s dress that didn’t flatter her because their own best friend couldn’t tell them the truth. Well I didn’t wanna hurt their feelings. My girl best friend said, “Yeah but lies make it worse! And you weren’t honest with us so why bother asking for you opinion when you can’t even give a straight answer and you make it worse! Plus you are so agreeable and it’s frankly annoying. You haven’t been a friend. I know you are going through a hard time with your dads death, but it doesn’t give you the right to be a jerk.”
My guy friend said, “Yeah quit being a jerk! Also you make us do all the work when we plan things and our friend had a point. YOU made it by not putting ANY effort. That’s why we made you choose everything to teach you a hard lesson! Until you start being a TRUE friend and be more straightforward with us, don’t bother to contact or hang out with us! Get your shit together! To put it bluntly, you don’t enjoy being around you anymore.”