Upset
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Did my best friends have the righ to break off our friendship because I “sugarcoat” things? They hate when I “butter” up things.

So my friends call me out for “buttering up what I really want to say and tell me to be straightforward. Even my dad gets irritated that I sugarcoat things and he told me to be HONEST and bluntly because there’s times you need to be blunt.
One time my bestie was wearing a dress that didn’t flatter her. I liked the color. She asked me how it looked and be honest. I told her, “Well, I like the color.” She said, “You did not answer my question. How does the dress LOOK?” She wouldn’t let me go until I answered. I said it isn’t bad and it looks nice enough for a party. I think she knew it wasn’t being completely honest. Then later on before she bought it I said it didn’t look flattering on her. She just looked at me with a pissed look. She scolded, “WHY didn’t you just tell me that in the first place?! You should have said that the first time I asked you! But no you had to sugarcoat it. What’s the point of being best friends if you can’t be straightforward? My own best friend can’t even tell me the truth. Hurt me with the truth!”
This was a few months ago. My guy friend got after me for not being honest about his cake. He said, “Instead of buttering up shit, be blunt. I hate to say this but your dad‘s right. You’re not a straightforward person. You sugarcoat a lot of things, well sometimes. We know how you are. We’re not even gonna bother asking you for an honest opinion anymore because you’re just not going to be straightforward.”
They broke up our friendship with me because of that and my annoyance.
Poppies · 61-69, F
So basically, I'm guessing, you lack confidence. You're afraid that if you hurt their feelings they'll be mad at you. So you try not to hurt their feelings, they see right through that, and they're mad at you.
Being "too nice" seems to me like a pretty small sin. It's not like you're being mean. This makes me feel like there's part of this story I don't know--maybe a part of this story that you don't even recognize yourself.
At any rate, it seems to me that you have the evidence that trying not to hurt their feelings, doesn't work. Knowing it doesn't work, you really need to stop doing that. You might as well tell them what you really think. Force yourself. What do you have to lose?
LaylaTheTallGirl · 22-25, F
@Poppies I mean it isn’t like I lied or anything. I don’t like lying
Poppies · 61-69, F
Oh, and one more thing. They have a "right" to break off the friendship for any reason they want. You don't own anybody. They don't have to have what seems to you to be a good reason. You should always be on the lookout for additional friends.
LaylaTheTallGirl · 22-25, F
@Poppies I never said I owe them! That’s no reason to break up a friendship! We’ve been best friends together for 12 freaking years!!! They can’t end it like that. They knew each other before they met me. Those two known each other for 16 years. If I kept lying, then that’s a great reason to end a friendship. I never lied to them!
SW-User
I get ragged on sometimes because I don't have a backbone in certain situations. Aw, kiss my tookus you boneheads
LaylaTheTallGirl · 22-25, F
@SW-User What do they say?
SW-User
@LaylaTheTallGirl Just their ego coming out at the wrong times, some people can be so mouthy at the most inappropriate moments
LaylaTheTallGirl · 22-25, F
@SW-User Ahh I see
GoodoldBob · 61-69, M
Well, friendship is not a right or an obligation so they can break it off if they want to.
LaylaTheTallGirl · 22-25, F
@GoodoldBob We’ll that’s not fair! I mean I can’t make them do anything but they are just going to break up the friend after 12 years?! Also leaving me behind! Good friends don’t just leave you behind or drop you!

 
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