Why do I still feel a connection with him?

I can answer this. You probably genuinely loved him and cared for him and now he is gone. He manipulated you into it and into putting him first. He feigned love because he cannot love anyone even if he thinks he can. He wanted you to depend on him and need him, and use you.

But despite his horrific behavior, a loss is still a loss. And we have grief.


When I start to feel like you do, I remind myself of the reality. He doesn’t care about me. He made his own choices. His life is not my responsibility. I use coping strategies and wait for the feeling to pass.

He hasn’t blocked me. He doesn’t have anyone. But I also haven’t blocked him or made any contact. It’s my personal choice. I don’t want to give him any attention or recognition of any kind. No contact. Nothing.

He would love anything like that, negative or positive. Let him think I am falling apart without him. I won cause I don’t care what happens to him and I don’t want him in my life no matter what.

If he reaches out thinking he can ask for a favor or something else from me, I’ll gladly tell him no and get lost.

It takes time to heal and move on, even from an abusive person

You're hurt and you're still wanting to hold on. You sound like the victim of a narcissist. They don't know what love is. Love to them, means nothing but control. Later, you'll be thankful you are rid of someone who treated you so poorly. At least I hope so. You deserve so much better. These situations never get better because they're abusive. Be thinking of how great your next boyfriend will be. Choose wisely. Dream of what he'll look like and get excited that he's looking and waiting for you to find him, too!

Thinking of someone from the past is always safe. The past is a safe place, we know it.

Feelings that produce adrenaline, good or bad, cause memories that we like to revisit. That sweet memory is also comfortable.

What we don’t know is scarey we shy away from new relationships because we don’t know... and not knowing is scarey. (That’s why people are trapped at home, afraid of CoVid.— thats aother story)

Fuck him