How do you kill yourself when you're too afraid of it?

Here me out all, this happened today my depression kicked in again. it was so bad that I screamed hate and fought with my mum so bad just because she lost one of my jigsa puzzles i worked hard to do. I couldve stopped my self frommfighting her just because of one damn piece missing, but depression kicked in I was hella frustrated, I threw the whole puzzle out and cried a lot. She keeps telling me that I will kill her by giving me heart attck or anything for just a puzzle. I know what I did was bad but Im possessed with frustration and depression. I told her that she doesnt have to worry I will kill myself today and she didnt listen and told me to do it.

I ended up searching whats the best and least painless way to die. Even some people suggest that I will just sleep, I still cant help with being scared. I dont want to live anymore and Im scared to die which is pathetic. How do I embrace death and not be scared at it. I wish I wasnt born my mum knows nothing about my depression and she doesn care. Shes always thinking about her own feelings, while im here dying everyday.