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WhatShallIcallyou · 51-55, M
Charlyyyy · 22-25, F
Im feeling alone.😔
WhatShallIcallyou · 51-55, M
@Charlyyyy: I think we all get that sometimes. Do you have brothers or sisters around? Friends at school?
Charlyyyy · 22-25, F
Only child. And yes I have friends at school. But some of them. I dont know if they are real to me, cause I am to them.
WhatShallIcallyou · 51-55, M
I think you should give them the benefit of the doubt. Many teens don't have much depth though. They are still finding their way in the world.
How often do you feel alone?
How often do you feel alone?
Charlyyyy · 22-25, F
Everyday😅
WhatShallIcallyou · 51-55, M
ummmm thinking......
I'm wondering if you are an extravert that needs lots of attention. Or perhaps you have people around, but no-one pays too much attention to you and you don't ever feel properly understood (I get that even as a 46 yo). There are other possibilities too. I'm in need of sleep. It is 10:30pm here and I've been so tired today that I even had a sleep in the car at lunchtime. If you'd like to talk more send me a message and I'll reply when I get back on (I'll probably have a peek when I get up).
Do you feel alone when people are around?
I'm wondering if you are an extravert that needs lots of attention. Or perhaps you have people around, but no-one pays too much attention to you and you don't ever feel properly understood (I get that even as a 46 yo). There are other possibilities too. I'm in need of sleep. It is 10:30pm here and I've been so tired today that I even had a sleep in the car at lunchtime. If you'd like to talk more send me a message and I'll reply when I get back on (I'll probably have a peek when I get up).
Do you feel alone when people are around?
Charlyyyy · 22-25, F
Omy. You should rest. :)
Charlyyyy · 22-25, F
Ahm, it depends on the people I'm with. 😁 thanks a lot. :)
WhatShallIcallyou · 51-55, M
The teenage years is a a time of transition. Teenagers usually transition from a child's body to an adult body, though they also transition from a child's brain to an adult brain. There will be times it isn't easy but keep on going.
What is significant about this time is that friendships with peers become more significant. Previously it was the relationships with parents that was the most significant. I don't know your situation very well, but I'll make a few recommendations anyway:
- try to enhance your relationships so that they serve you better, so that you feel more connected and understood.
- try to forge good relationships with your parents.
- ensure you keep a good friend network of girls your own age and keep socialising with them: in person and supplement that electronically (but don't let electronic comms dominate)
- if you can, find a girl that is 5-10 years older than you, that has worked out ok and you respect. See if they will be your mentor and confident when you need it.
Your parents may be busy and caught up in their own worlds. But try to converse with them, things like what happened to you during the day or ask about theirs. You may need to be in the kitchen with your mom while cooking, perhaps helping too. The important thing is that you converse about things. That way when you need them you will have an understanding about each other. I'd expect your parents to take the lead in that conversation, but they may be busy or unaware.
With your friends, you may need to practice self-disclosure. However, only with the friends that you can trust not to cause you grief. Try an internet search on that, self disclosure usually starts with small opinions that are exchanged. As the trust grows so do the disclosures. I find that such disclosures can transform a useless adult male conversation about nothing into something quite meaningful.
And if you continue to feel alone frequently, try to talk to your parents or mentor about it. Though, I'm here if you want to communicate too.
What is significant about this time is that friendships with peers become more significant. Previously it was the relationships with parents that was the most significant. I don't know your situation very well, but I'll make a few recommendations anyway:
- try to enhance your relationships so that they serve you better, so that you feel more connected and understood.
- try to forge good relationships with your parents.
- ensure you keep a good friend network of girls your own age and keep socialising with them: in person and supplement that electronically (but don't let electronic comms dominate)
- if you can, find a girl that is 5-10 years older than you, that has worked out ok and you respect. See if they will be your mentor and confident when you need it.
Your parents may be busy and caught up in their own worlds. But try to converse with them, things like what happened to you during the day or ask about theirs. You may need to be in the kitchen with your mom while cooking, perhaps helping too. The important thing is that you converse about things. That way when you need them you will have an understanding about each other. I'd expect your parents to take the lead in that conversation, but they may be busy or unaware.
With your friends, you may need to practice self-disclosure. However, only with the friends that you can trust not to cause you grief. Try an internet search on that, self disclosure usually starts with small opinions that are exchanged. As the trust grows so do the disclosures. I find that such disclosures can transform a useless adult male conversation about nothing into something quite meaningful.
And if you continue to feel alone frequently, try to talk to your parents or mentor about it. Though, I'm here if you want to communicate too.
Charlyyyy · 22-25, F
Thanks. :)