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Friend borrowed $3000 and didn't pay back as promised

3 months ago, a friend asked to borrow $3000. I don't think she told me the truth why she needed it (she said it was a tie-over until she got her tax refund.) I was hesitant as $3000 is a lot of money, but this is a good friend and I could sense she was struggling financially because she had recently taken in a roommate and started working a 2nd job. Before loaning her the money, I asked her if she was in any kind of trouble, and she denied it, saying that she just needed some extra money to tie her over until her tax refund.

30 days went by. No text, no call. 60 days went by... no text, no call. 90 days went by... no text no call. 94 days go by and she calls me to wish me a happy b-day and asks when are we going out for drinks like nothing ever happened. I couldn't talk when she called me at work, but it was awkward and I was mad. I decided to think and pray about this over the weekend.

This morning, I texted her and said I needed the $3000 by then end of this week. I got a response a few hours later saying that she had not forgotten about the money, but I would have to wait until the end of the month. I texted back and asked for a date. I got a text saying I would get $1500 at the end of this month and $1500 at the end of September. I don't even know if I believe her. Worst off, I feel betrayed and taken advantage of.

What would you do?
Theosis · 56-60, M
FOLLOW UP... there's was/is a promissory note to pay back as well as text messages and emails. That's not what's in question. Of course I could sue, but suing someone doesn't mean you will recover - it just means you have a legal judgment against someone. This isn't about recovering the money, but about the friendship.
Well, she kinda broke the trust when she said she was going to pay him back when she got her income tax.. that never happened and it took 94 days for her to get in contact. Then to act like it never happened. Who needs a friend like that? Regardless if it was 5 dollars.. she broke her word.
Endomorph · 61-69, M
If I were you? Probably cut my losses and move on. What choice do you have? And, if anyone comes begging your way again for a loan, have them sign a legal document and get it notarized. As a policy, I do not loan money to anyone, period. Been burned too many times, and that's that.
Clairebare · 26-30, F
Never lend money to a friend. You GIVE a friend money and hopefully they pay it back. Just get used to the idea you'll never see that money again. Then if she does pay it back, great!
cherokeepatti · 61-69, F
I loaned someone money and had to chase it to collect it. It was someone I worked with who gave me a story and said she'd pay it back on payday. She walked off laughing (it was my day off and I waited for her to clock out)...she said next payday. I chased it down and got every penny and warned the other workers about her, three others had already got stung and a friend went after her debt after she paid off mine, leaving a large note on the car windshield that her daughter and her shared. She paid off hers too.
MetalGreymon · 36-40, M
@theoneyouwerewarnedabout

Who the fuck doesn't need three thousand dollars back?
SW-User
@cherokepatti she sounds like a nasty piece of work. Also what does your name mean?
Binary · 31-35, M
Lovelldo. Yes, but she now has the advantage over Theosis at his expense. Friends or not; $3000 is a lot of money to lend without an official agreement. Why put yourself in that position? It didn't have to be like this and I'm not saying it's his fault for being lied to but I'm sorry Theosis, you could have been a bit more diligent.
cherokeepatti · 61-69, F
If you loan money always make a promissory note, get it signed and notarized, give the other person a copy, and keep at least one copy for yourself. Include the date the loan is to be repaid...that way you have a legal document and can take them to court, small claims court if it is a small enough amount.
She's not your friend.. She's a scammer
Theosis · 56-60, M
To badazz... et al,

Yes, I have documentation and she admits to owing it and wants to be put on a payment plan, but that's not what we agreed to. Plus, after getting the money, she ghosted for 90+ days...and this is someone I usually talk/text a few times a week. So, my real issue is not getting the money back, but being lied to by a friend of 12 years.

As I said earlier, she originally said she needed the money to tie her over until she got her refund check. I sort of doubted that story, but sometimes people are too embarrassed to be up front. I'm not, afraid of admitting that I F#%@^D something up and need help, but that's me. What bothers me is that now she says, "Well, I wound up owing instead of getting back." OK, that's a lame excuse. You always know whether you owe or get back. The issue is being lied to.
SW-User
Slash her tires. Seriously. I would take her to court. If she doesn't go with the 1500 dollars then and later. Do you have any documentations and proof of the lending?
Clairebare · 26-30, F
@nedkelly... how does going to court make money appear within 24 hours? If she doesn't have it, she doesn't have it.
harley06105 · 51-55, M
I would keep on her back about it as long as I could. Eventually either unfriend her, or write it off as a mistake (on both your parts). Never loan money to friends (and that includes your car, even though your car isn't money, you don't want anyone breaking something on it or getting in an accident with it! even if it's not their fault).
SW-User
Tell her to fuck off and give you your money
cherokeepatti · 61-69, F
Theosis: Doesn't sound like a true friend then.
gurlwatcher22 · 61-69, M
For $3000, she's out of your life.Ditch her.For good.
I'd be cool until I got it back.
nedkelly · 61-69, M
Clairebare - well this will make her wake up as you are serious, in Australia you go to court and it is a 3 month process. This will make her start talking to the person who loaned her the money
well. i could prolly cut my loses if it came to it..
the Question was does he need the cash to use immediately. or can he put his friend on a payment plan and save the friendship..
Agree on a payment plan because she probably spent it and can't give it all to you at once. Get it in writing if you can.
Revelations it's their fault they were lied to?
greenmountaingal · 70-79, F
Check it out. It is likely she has developed an addiction such as drugs or gambling. If that is so, you will not get your money back and you could get ripped off for more if you are not careful.
Binary · 31-35, M
It's very simple.
Agree a payment plan, like you have.
OR laugh at yourself for being kind at your own expense and learn from your very expensive mistake.
nedkelly · 61-69, M
Simple answer take her to court - money will be paid with 24 hours
I'd get my damn money and be done with her.. that's bs.
do you need it. or just want it back safe and sound?..
destinyfabulous · 36-40, F
Save the messages in case she denies it
SW-User
Cherokee what does your name mean?

 
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