I'm At a Crossroads
It was November when I had surgery to remove a Pituitary Adenoma from my brain. It was destroying me from the inside, gave me debilitating migraines, and had the potential to blind me. While I was recovering I was unable to work, as that involved driving, which was prohibited for six long weeks. I also physically felt horrible for the first two weeks alone.
Working for an at-home personal training company, and having two roles within the company, one role obviously needed to be covered. And my colleague who covered for me made such a good impression on one client that he demanded my replacement be his permanent trainer or he'd leave. What was my replacement to do? He also managed to take two former clients of mine who'd returned just before I was to undergo surgery, which is how he scored them both.
Good for him.
But once I physically returned to work before December ended, I came back to financial chaos. My GoFundMe money my EX of all people put together was used for rent, which was its purpose. Clients were away, refusing to come back, my landlord raised my rent, my laptop needed to be replaced for work reasons AND my car had problems.
Fight or flight. I was so desperate I got myself a second job handling an opening shift at a YMCA near the town I work in four days a week. My manager likes me so much since I pounded the pavement (which is apparently making a comeback now) that she told me that maybe one day I'll have her job. That means benefits I desperately need now.
Concurrently, I scored two new clients and an old one came back from the dead. On top of that, I meet a potential private client today and another one next week. My schedule is possibly going to fill up.
On paper it's great, especially since all this extra cash is going to my girlfriend, who I owe money to for pulling me out of a jam last year. I'm paying her every week, which feels so good.
But in reality, I'm not sleeping enough, and I already swerved on the road once. I'm not keeping up with administrative tasks at my main gig, I'm not logging training sessions. I'm crying sporadically in my car during the day.
I feel like I need to weed out something. I can't do it just yet. But I'll have to soon, and that decision will be hard.
Working for an at-home personal training company, and having two roles within the company, one role obviously needed to be covered. And my colleague who covered for me made such a good impression on one client that he demanded my replacement be his permanent trainer or he'd leave. What was my replacement to do? He also managed to take two former clients of mine who'd returned just before I was to undergo surgery, which is how he scored them both.
Good for him.
But once I physically returned to work before December ended, I came back to financial chaos. My GoFundMe money my EX of all people put together was used for rent, which was its purpose. Clients were away, refusing to come back, my landlord raised my rent, my laptop needed to be replaced for work reasons AND my car had problems.
Fight or flight. I was so desperate I got myself a second job handling an opening shift at a YMCA near the town I work in four days a week. My manager likes me so much since I pounded the pavement (which is apparently making a comeback now) that she told me that maybe one day I'll have her job. That means benefits I desperately need now.
Concurrently, I scored two new clients and an old one came back from the dead. On top of that, I meet a potential private client today and another one next week. My schedule is possibly going to fill up.
On paper it's great, especially since all this extra cash is going to my girlfriend, who I owe money to for pulling me out of a jam last year. I'm paying her every week, which feels so good.
But in reality, I'm not sleeping enough, and I already swerved on the road once. I'm not keeping up with administrative tasks at my main gig, I'm not logging training sessions. I'm crying sporadically in my car during the day.
I feel like I need to weed out something. I can't do it just yet. But I'll have to soon, and that decision will be hard.
