I'm sorry to everyone 🙏 truly

I'm sick of being upset. I'm usually so good at acting like everything's fine & I'm failing at that rn.

I don't think drinking is my problem exactly. I think it's a factor, but I think more so, my problem is running away from my feelings & self destructing.
I blame myself & feel like absolute shit, so I treat myself like shit. I'm aware of it then I do it anyway. I'm trying to get better at it 😔

I could make excuse after excuse, I could blame my upbringing, I could blame my past relationships, I could blame a lot of things & I wouldn't be wrong
but fact of the matter is that I need to learn how to handle my emotions. The bad emotions. The ones I can't run away from yet still try to anyway.
Because the shit that really f*cks you up, you can't run from.

I've never had much help in life. I've never had anybody show me how to handle my emotions, get on my feet, do things for myself, be a normal member of society. I got pushed aside then dropped on my ass & had to teach everything to myself. I've struggled so much over the years & I'm still not where I wanna be. But then again, who is?

There's still a lot I'm not good at. My feelings are one of them. I appreciate everyone who's reached out to me & I'm sorry to everyone who's already tired of me 🖤 trust me, I'm tired of me too.
I'm gonna try to knock it off but if I fall apart a little don't mind me ✌️ I'm still just trying to get by. Watch me be okay soon

Iwillwait · M

Hey Brother, No one here is tired of you. No need for that to even enter your mind as a possibility.

Emotions are tricky, especially if we give them value (they are worthless) if we try to validate them, we run the risk if allowing our emotions to rule out actions and shape/bend our reality.

I am not sure if you have heard of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. C.B.T. helps you train and develope a quicker reflex to react differently in situations where you emotions may be elevated. It helps with anger, rage, over/hyper analyzing that we may do that will sabotage our situations.

Perhaps you could reach out to a counselor or therapist to see about learning those techniques to help you.

ChiefJustWalks · 26-30

@Iwillwait yeah a few people have mentioned the cbt lately.. it's something I actually gotta look up because idk anything about it 👀 it sounds interesting though

Iwillwait · M

@ChiefJustWalks Pretty much reflexology for your emotions or how you react to things. I have to always stop myself and audibly out loud talk my way through a situation practicing seeing it from all sides, and then measure what is "Probable," as to what my initial emaitional state says it is. Quite frequently I will take the "stand-down," position or give them the "Benefit of Doubt," which I am always seemingly in.