I Have Something to SayWhen then store clerk asks you "paper or plastic?" tell him "either is fine..I'm bisacksual".
I Love Stupid JokesWant to bet those half wit kids eating Tide Pods don’t have skid marks in their underwear.
I Love to Have FunLadies, want to have some fun at work?...Stick a new tampon behind your ear and when some one asks you about it say shit...wonder where my pen is.
I Have Been To CourtShe hit the brakes and I hit her, and this beautiful blond gets out and says "Ram me in the ass why don't you"! And here your honor is were it gets confusing
I Think There Are Some Weird People In This WorldPeople are so weird. You reach under the bathroom stall to tie their shoes and they freak out instead of saying thanks.
I Love Driving Around , Looking At Christmas LightsPlease be considerate of others! I have a request this holiday season. Those of you who have placed Christmas lights/decorations in your yards, can you please avoid anything red, blue, and flashing? Every time I drive by, I think it's the police and...See More »
I Have Been Kissed Under The MistletoeThis is probably not the year to hang mistletoe around the workplace.
I Just Like To Have FunWant to have some fun?..wait until people are behind you at the checkout counter at a pharmacy, grab a box of condoms and ask "where is the fitting room?"
I Like to Play GamesJust thinking this morning that the worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades.
I Think She Likes MeI think my neighbor is stalking me as she's been googling my name on her computer. I saw it through my telescope last night
I Want To Make You BreakfastIf I make you breakfast in bed. A simple 'Thank you.' is all I need! Not this screaming as loud as you can 'who are you, how did you get in my house?' business!
I Have a Sistermy sister just texted me and asked what does "idk" stand for? I said I don't know. she said OMG! nobody does!
I Love Pizzalast night the pizza gal from Domino's reads my order back to me and says,"You have one large thick sausage, anything else?" I reply,"Yes, I'd also like to order a pizza."