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56-60, M
United States
1470 views · 20 followers · Online: Recently (date?)
Join Time
1st Week of SW
Days Active
1 Yr Active
Stories
20 Stories
Groups
25 Groups
I Ride a Harley
While riding my Harley, I swerved to avoid hitting a deer, lost control and landed in a ditch, severely banging my head. Dazed and confused I crawled out of the ditch to the edge of the road when a shiny new convertible pulled up with a very beautifu...
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56-60, M
5
4 replies
17 views
Aug 29, 2018
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I Love Stupid Jokes
JUST FRED - Humor An Arizona Highway Patrol officer stops a Harley for traveling faster than the posted speed limit, so he asks the biker his name. 'Fred,' he replies. 'Fred what?' the officer asks. 'Just Fred,' the...
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56-60, M
1
4 replies
28 views
Aug 27, 2018
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I Have Something to Say
Last night my wife and I went shopping to Home Depot and we got separated. While looking for her I collided my cart with a younger guy in the electrical aisle I told the younger guy, "Sorry about that. I'm looking for my wife, and I guess I...
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56-60, M
6
3 replies
31 views
Aug 22, 2018
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I Have Something to Say
My wife was a little randy last night.... I took off her shirt. Then she said, "Take off my skirt." I took them off. "Take off my shoes" I took off her shoes. "Now my hose, bra, and panties!" I took all them off. Then sh...
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56-60, M
4
2 replies
24 views
Aug 15, 2018
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I Love Brazilian Women
I once years ago told my sister that I slept with a Brazilian women. My sister said," OMG, you're such a man whore ...how many is a brazillian?"
56-60, M
4
4 replies
18 views
Aug 4, 2018
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I Want To Give You Flowers Every Day
Came home tonight with flowers for the missus. When I handed them to her she replied, "Great. Now I have to spend all weekend on my back with my legs in the air." Obviously confused I asked, "Why? Don't we have any vases?
56-60, M
7
4 replies
14 views
Jul 28, 2018
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I Have Something to Say
To the dude who flipped me off in the Starbucks parking lot this morning for honking at him, before taking off like a maniac… You left your breakfast and coffee on top of your car…
56-60, M
17
8 replies
23 views
Jul 12, 2018
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I Admire The Amish
How do Amish women know if it's a romantic candle-light dinner or just a regular dinner?
56-60, M
8
4 replies
23 views
Jul 12, 2018
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I Welcome You To Neighborhood Watch
My neighbors say I am a peeping tom. I say I am a highly active member of the neighborhood watch.
56-60, M
2
5 replies
8 views
Jul 11, 2018
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I Have Something to Say
I really hope I know when I will pass as I plan on eating a bag of un-popped popcorn kernels. My cremation should be spectacular.
56-60, M
6
1 reply
2 views
Jul 8, 2018
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I Love Toys
56-60, M
5
3 replies
39 views
Jul 4, 2018
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I Have Something to Say
I asked my wife let's try a different position tonight. She then said, That's a good idea. You do dishes while I sit on the sofa watch TV and fart.
56-60, M
4
2 replies
13 views
Jun 28, 2018
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I Have Something to Say
Have some fun today at work... Unplug the copier and put a sign on it that says “Now Voice Activated!”
56-60, M
4
1 reply
3 views
Jun 27, 2018
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I Love Stupid Jokes
I spent at least half an hour trying to get my wifes bra off. I will never try wearing that again
56-60, M
5
3 replies
6 views
Jun 25, 2018
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I Had To Fart
It is tough to get old...The only time that my wife screams my name in bed anymore is when I fart in my sleep.
56-60, M
7
1 reply
3 views
May 11, 2018
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I Want To Cause Some Mischief
I was walking past my neighbor's white work van that was covered in dirt, someone had written on it, "I wish my wife was as dirty as this van." I just couldn't help myself from writing, " She is... When your at work
56-60, M
6
1 reply
7 views
May 7, 2018
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I Don't Do Starbucks
Well, it seems that I am banned from yet another Starbucks...Standing in line I was just bopping along to a song and the woman I was dancing behind bends over so I could grind it, then I realized she just lost an earring... and that no one else in St...
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56-60, M
3
4 replies
30 views
May 5, 2018
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I Don't Like Taking Medication
The bad news: I took the wrong medication this morning. The good news: For the next 3 months I'm protected against heartworms and fleas.
56-60, M
8
1 reply
4 views
Apr 4, 2018
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I Hate When Balloons Pop
56-60, M
1
2 replies
28 views
Feb 17, 2018
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I Love Helping Friends
A good friend called me last night and I could tell he was shook up. He said he had just slept with his 3rd cousin. I told him, if it upsets you that much, quit counting them
56-60, M
6
0 replies
2 views
Feb 17, 2018
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