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56-60, M
United States
1216 views · 16 followers · Online: Recently (date?)
Join Time
1st Week of SW
Days Active
1 Yr Active
Stories
20 Stories
Groups
25 Groups
I Had To Fart
It is tough to get old...The only time that my wife screams my name in bed anymore is when I fart in my sleep.
56-60, M
5
0 replies
0 views
May 11, 2018
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I Want To Cause Some Mischief
I was walking past my neighbor's white work van that was covered in dirt, someone had written on it, "I wish my wife was as dirty as this van." I just couldn't help myself from writing, " She is... When your at work
56-60, M
4
1 reply
6 views
May 7, 2018
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I Don't Do Starbucks
Well, it seems that I am banned from yet another Starbucks...Standing in line I was just bopping along to a song and the woman I was dancing behind bends over so I could grind it, then I realized she just lost an earring... and that no one else in St...
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56-60, M
1
4 replies
27 views
May 5, 2018
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I Don't Like Taking Medication
The bad news: I took the wrong medication this morning. The good news: For the next 3 months I'm protected against heartworms and fleas.
56-60, M
7
1 reply
4 views
Apr 4, 2018
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I Hate When Balloons Pop
56-60, M
1
2 replies
27 views
Feb 17, 2018
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I Love Helping Friends
A good friend called me last night and I could tell he was shook up. He said he had just slept with his 3rd cousin. I told him, if it upsets you that much, quit counting them
56-60, M
6
0 replies
2 views
Feb 17, 2018
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I Have Something to Say
When then store clerk asks you "paper or plastic?" tell him "either is fine..I'm bisacksual".
56-60, M
6
2 replies
8 views
Feb 10, 2018
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I Love Stupid Jokes
Want to bet those half wit kids eating Tide Pods don’t have skid marks in their underwear.
56-60, M
2
2 replies
12 views
Feb 8, 2018
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I Laugh At Stupidity
I taught my wife everything she knows about male stupidity.
56-60, M
5
1 reply
5 views
Feb 6, 2018
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I Love to Have Fun
Ladies, want to have some fun at work?...Stick a new tampon behind your ear and when some one asks you about it say shit...wonder where my pen is.
56-60, M
2
2 replies
9 views
Feb 5, 2018
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I Have Been To Court
She hit the brakes and I hit her, and this beautiful blond gets out and says "Ram me in the ass why don't you"! And here your honor is were it gets confusing
56-60, M
6
2 replies
14 views
Feb 1, 2018
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I Think There Are Some Weird People In This World
People are so weird. You reach under the bathroom stall to tie their shoes and they freak out instead of saying thanks.
56-60, M
5
3 replies
12 views
Jan 27, 2018
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I Do Not Like Twinkies
56-60, M
1
3 replies
32 views
Dec 25, 2017
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I Work Out
56-60, M
7
2 replies
37 views
Dec 24, 2017
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I Love Driving Around , Looking At Christmas Lights
Please be considerate of others! I have a request this holiday season. Those of you who have placed Christmas lights/decorations in your yards, can you please avoid anything red, blue, and flashing? Every time I drive by, I think it's the police...
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56-60, M
7
5 replies
11 views
Dec 24, 2017
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I Love Stupid Jokes
56-60, M
3
2 replies
34 views
Dec 11, 2017
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I Have Been Kissed Under The Mistletoe
This is probably not the year to hang mistletoe around the workplace.
56-60, M
6
5 replies
11 views
Dec 6, 2017
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I Just Like To Have Fun
Want to have some fun?..wait until people are behind you at the checkout counter at a pharmacy, grab a box of condoms and ask "where is the fitting room?"
56-60, M
6
1 reply
7 views
Nov 30, 2017
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I Like to Play Games
Just thinking this morning that the worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades.
56-60, M
3
1 reply
5 views
Nov 17, 2017
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I Think She Likes Me
I think my neighbor is stalking me as she's been googling my name on her computer. I saw it through my telescope last night
56-60, M
3
1 reply
6 views
Nov 12, 2017
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