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56-60, M
United States
1311 views · 18 followers · Online: Recently (date?)
Join Time
1st Week of SW
Days Active
1 Yr Active
Stories
20 Stories
Groups
25 Groups
I Have Something to Say
To the dude who flipped me off in the Starbucks parking lot this morning for honking at him, before taking off like a maniac… You left your breakfast and coffee on top of your car…
56-60, M
16
7 replies
17 views
Jul 12, 2018
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I Admire The Amish
How do Amish women know if it's a romantic candle-light dinner or just a regular dinner?
56-60, M
6
2 replies
17 views
Jul 12, 2018
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I Welcome You To Neighborhood Watch
My neighbors say I am a peeping tom. I say I am a highly active member of the neighborhood watch.
56-60, M
1
4 replies
7 views
Jul 11, 2018
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I Have Something to Say
I really hope I know when I will pass as I plan on eating a bag of un-popped popcorn kernels. My cremation should be spectacular.
56-60, M
6
1 reply
2 views
Jul 8, 2018
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I Love Toys
56-60, M
5
2 replies
29 views
Jul 4, 2018
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I Have Something to Say
I asked my wife let's try a different position tonight. She then said, That's a good idea. You do dishes while I sit on the sofa watch TV and fart.
56-60, M
4
2 replies
11 views
Jun 28, 2018
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I Have Something to Say
Have some fun today at work... Unplug the copier and put a sign on it that says “Now Voice Activated!”
56-60, M
4
1 reply
3 views
Jun 27, 2018
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I Love Stupid Jokes
I spent at least half an hour trying to get my wifes bra off. I will never try wearing that again
56-60, M
4
3 replies
6 views
Jun 25, 2018
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I Had To Fart
It is tough to get old...The only time that my wife screams my name in bed anymore is when I fart in my sleep.
56-60, M
7
1 reply
3 views
May 11, 2018
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I Want To Cause Some Mischief
I was walking past my neighbor's white work van that was covered in dirt, someone had written on it, "I wish my wife was as dirty as this van." I just couldn't help myself from writing, " She is... When your at work
56-60, M
6
1 reply
7 views
May 7, 2018
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I Don't Do Starbucks
Well, it seems that I am banned from yet another Starbucks...Standing in line I was just bopping along to a song and the woman I was dancing behind bends over so I could grind it, then I realized she just lost an earring... and that no one else in St...
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56-60, M
2
4 replies
29 views
May 5, 2018
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I Don't Like Taking Medication
The bad news: I took the wrong medication this morning. The good news: For the next 3 months I'm protected against heartworms and fleas.
56-60, M
8
1 reply
4 views
Apr 4, 2018
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I Hate When Balloons Pop
56-60, M
1
2 replies
28 views
Feb 17, 2018
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I Love Helping Friends
A good friend called me last night and I could tell he was shook up. He said he had just slept with his 3rd cousin. I told him, if it upsets you that much, quit counting them
56-60, M
6
0 replies
2 views
Feb 17, 2018
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I Have Something to Say
When then store clerk asks you "paper or plastic?" tell him "either is fine..I'm bisacksual".
56-60, M
6
2 replies
8 views
Feb 10, 2018
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I Love Stupid Jokes
Want to bet those half wit kids eating Tide Pods don’t have skid marks in their underwear.
56-60, M
2
2 replies
12 views
Feb 8, 2018
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I Laugh At Stupidity
I taught my wife everything she knows about male stupidity.
56-60, M
5
1 reply
5 views
Feb 6, 2018
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I Love to Have Fun
Ladies, want to have some fun at work?...Stick a new tampon behind your ear and when some one asks you about it say shit...wonder where my pen is.
56-60, M
2
2 replies
9 views
Feb 5, 2018
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I Have Been To Court
She hit the brakes and I hit her, and this beautiful blond gets out and says "Ram me in the ass why don't you"! And here your honor is were it gets confusing
56-60, M
6
2 replies
14 views
Feb 1, 2018
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I Think There Are Some Weird People In This World
People are so weird. You reach under the bathroom stall to tie their shoes and they freak out instead of saying thanks.
56-60, M
5
3 replies
12 views
Jan 27, 2018
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