If you were going to have an affair..

@StygianKohlrabi ohh lol. Okay. Yes, I am choosy. I have a plan but spontaneous would have been okay with me in certain situations I’m sure. I’d prefer that person to mean something to me and I’d prefer long term. But if it were more spontaneous then all the answers would probably change a bit.

Actually i had one once recently (last march) because i just got sick of my husband and left, he was hostile as hell and i just couldn't take it anymore.. actually i had a lot when i was younger because i was a run away when i was young both before and after i was married but i quit a few years in (running away irl) till a few months ago.. i drove off and met someone from sw and we spent the day together, it was super romantic but i went home and never saw him again.. i wanted to but couldn't because i had family stuff going on and didn't want a scandal in the middle of it 😳 so i just never saw him again even tho i wanted to really badly he moved on without me and broke up i tried to get back with him but we kept breaking up and finally blocked each other .. i think he tried to break it off long before we did but i just wasn't getting it. initially what drove me to him was my insane desire to have a child and i thought he’d be a good father of one.. but things didn't work out.. sometimes i think about going to his house and.. but idk what he’s up to these days .. after we broke up i went crazy cybering a bunch of dudes.. but then cut out recently.. my dad is super religious so I'm not all wild in person but online i was out there too much maybe.. trying to reform my wild habits but am not 100% yet.. idk if i’ll ever be..

My hub knows all this crap and sometimes i think of divorce but i love my pets .. (he bought me lil dogs some years ago because he couldn't give me a baby and he knew i wanted one desperately) 🤐 idk..

I don't like affairs or people who have them. for me it was deep dissatisfaction and hate even that drove me away

I know everything is an excuse and that loyalty is a choice and i value and respect loyal people and you can’t have that with someone who is a cheater or maintain it as a cheater .. there’s no honor among thieves nor loyalty among cheats

But people do it for selfishness and disregard for others and disregard for their own honor (assuming they ever had any)

I don't think most people want or plan an affair maybe some, most just get careless i think and go overboard but who knows

Loyalty is a choice .. I've yet to live up to my own ideals and standards but..

I guess my problem is indecisiveness and also a high sex drive can also be a problem

I guess i need to talk to my husband.. I’ve been avoiding it 😬 he’ll probably take my phone away from me 😬 ah well 😒

I would choose, but in spontaneous situations i usually don't act fast, but still bide time, at least just a little to know, ...and
i do plan for certain individuals, its like the apples you like and want to pluck them , sometimes it takes time ,sometimes they never fall,
The person should mean something and most of the time it develops slowly, the meaning and the understanding, you cannot jump on anyone
Long term is preferable

Well, i had one affair in my life and to be honest, it was completly unplanned! It is too long a story for here but i was working on a project away from home down in the South of France in summer time. I met a woman from abothet company, aslo on the project, which lasted nearly two months, and the affair started then. We were both married. It was spontaneous, exciting, wrong (!).... but thats my experi3nce!

Something like that would have to be spontaneous, mostly because the passion driving it would be an unseen force that came too quickly to think rationally. No depth backing it. No connection outside of physical. Just a fulfillment to a missing void that over time has brought too great of an emotional and mental pain to not entertain the idea of one day filling.

I am still recovering from an intense though online-only affair that lasted almost 4 years. I was looking for an erotic/romantic connection outside my marriage, but not threatening my marriage. Specifically, to fulfill my desire for erotic submission. What began as a shared fantasy became a deep and loving relationship.

I’ve had both, an affair with someone I’ve had a connection with and a couple of one-night-stands, over the years.

For an affair I'd be choosy, but for a one night stand it would more about how much I need some fun right now.

1) I would be choosy...the mental connection is more important than physical looks.

2) It would be planned.

3) Yes, the person would have to mean something to me.

4) Hopefully it would be long term.

Yes, I'd pick my affair partner carefully. I think.

I wouldn’t do it. If I were miserable enough in my relationship, I would break it off. Life is too short to be miserable and have to live a secret life.

it would be someone that was in the same position as me and would have as much to lose

and somebody that understood why we were doing it - and was on the same page

I did cheat on someone once, I’m still with the person I cheated with. I think you need to really love the person that you cheat with. Quick flings are pretty gross.

I've had slow dances that set my head and all the rest spinning, but really--is there an "it's just for sex" affair that can't be herded off a cliff by a firm yellow squash of the just-right shape? And remember, compost never tattles.

I stick with “online” simply because it’s a lot less risky. Although I know even that comes with risk.

It would be spontaneous but not just with anyone someone I know and an attracted to. Hopefully it would mean something and be long term.

I would choose wisely. Preferrably with someone in the same situation as yourself, who does not want to change their situation.

It starts spontaneously. In order for it to be meaningful, it’d have to be long term and the sex great. It’s a pretty large risk, so you’d better be choosy. Someone IS going to get hurt.

not married but I'll watch 🍿

I’m not ever having an affair I’m happy with my husband

Spontaneous, hit and run. Lol Move on don't get emotionally involved. That's when the problems begin.

all of the above ,and more,

I couldn’t do it because the guilt would kill me.

Be choosy! a random hook up can be a psychopath
at the very least? get to know something about them
and dont share too much informataion

It would be a quick one off with whoever would be interested

Very choosey. Taking such a risk demands careful consideration.

It would have to be about fun and lust

It would have to be someone special.

The one I was having the affair with should be sexier and do things a partner wouldn’t do

It’s got to be worth it and safe, which it seldom is

If you call it an affair, it is not a one time thing.

Noth

Spontaneous if the chemistry is there and as long as the chemistry is there

Depends on how cute her butt is.

Are you thinking about it