If you were going to have an affair..

Would you be choosy about who you are going to have an affair with or would it not really matter? Would you plan it with someone or would it be more spontaneous? Would that person have to mean something to you or would it just be about the fun? Would it be a one time thing or would you hope for it to be a long term thing?

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YoMomma ·

Actually i had one once recently (last march) because i just got sick of my husband and left, he was hostile as hell and i just couldn't take it anymore.. actually i had a lot when i was younger because i was a run away when i was young both before and after i was married but i quit a few years in (running away irl) till a few months ago.. i drove off and met someone from sw and we spent the day together, it was super romantic but i went home and never saw him again.. i wanted to but couldn't because i had family stuff going on and didn't want a scandal in the middle of it 😳 so i just never saw him again even tho i wanted to really badly he moved on without me and broke up i tried to get back with him but we kept breaking up and finally blocked each other .. i think he tried to break it off long before we did but i just wasn't getting it. initially what drove me to him was my insane desire to have a child and i thought he’d be a good father of one.. but things didn't work out.. sometimes i think about going to his house and.. but idk what he’s up to these days .. after we broke up i went crazy cybering a bunch of dudes.. but then cut out recently.. my dad is super religious so I'm not all wild in person but online i was out there too much maybe.. trying to reform my wild habits but am not 100% yet.. idk if i’ll ever be..

My hub knows all this crap and sometimes i think of divorce but i love my pets .. (he bought me lil dogs some years ago because he couldn't give me a baby and he knew i wanted one desperately) 🤐 idk..

I don't like affairs or people who have them. for me it was deep dissatisfaction and hate even that drove me away

I know everything is an excuse and that loyalty is a choice and i value and respect loyal people and you can’t have that with someone who is a cheater or maintain it as a cheater .. there’s no honor among thieves nor loyalty among cheats

But people do it for selfishness and disregard for others and disregard for their own honor (assuming they ever had any)

I don't think most people want or plan an affair maybe some, most just get careless i think and go overboard but who knows

Loyalty is a choice .. I've yet to live up to my own ideals and standards but..

I guess my problem is indecisiveness and also a high sex drive can also be a problem

I guess i need to talk to my husband.. I’ve been avoiding it 😬 he’ll probably take my phone away from me 😬 ah well 😒

Pretzel · 70-79, M

@YoMomma just a quick virtual hug dear

no strings attached.

TravisTx · M

@YoMomma you have to do what you feel is the right thing in your heart. Sometimes, I’m not so sure the best response is to just keep things to yourself and deal with it, internally. You might feel better coming clean but at what cost, you know?

Jayghost · 51-55, M

@YoMomma oh so sorry about all of that!! Yes I too have always hated cheaters but now that I'm in the place that I am in my marriage I understand it and have done so and willing to do more. It's just a long story as to why I'm willing to do this. But above everything my wife is I still do love her very much so and would never leave her! In fact I could never even begin to imagine my life without her in it. But yes, unfortunately, it is necessary. And yes I'm on your side for why you did yours too! I agree with you. You did the right thing, regardless of how it turned out. I do feel for you.