Belifes and some thought

When I remember my life before losing my faith, it was soooooooo much more simple. I didn't have any existential crisis. I could relate to my family and everyone around me. I didn't have identity crisis. My perception of right and wrong matched what I have been taught, so I didn't struggle much. Losing faith is much easier when you have been raised in a secular society, it doesn't shake you as hard as it does, when you were brought up in a conservative society, with strong family connection, and when religion is still pretty much dominant and respected everywhere.

My life changed and it will never go back the same, until I die. Sometimes I wonder if it is worth it. I mean, yea there are many bad things in religion, but then, I was one of the good ones, who believed in it all, but would never act on it, or even knew of it much. I mean, whenever people said my religion was a violent one, I didn't even believe it, let alone act on it. So whether I believed or not, I did not make much of a difference in the world.. but believing or not, did make a huge difference in my life.. it brought me so much anxiety and huge identity struggles and fears.. it destroyed my relationships and it made my life soooo freaking complicated...

Sometimes I wish I'd go back just one day when life was simple and everything was figured out for me.

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Miram · 31-35, F

I can relate to some of it. Though I graduated from a religious institution, I cannot say I had the faith.

I didn't believe in Islam, I just didn't talk about my lack of faith till around 15 years old.

And that was the part which severed many of my relationships, talking.

I didn't have typical upbringing, extremists, war, crazy parents..so I was already very detached from connecting to people in deeper level or counting on them in any way. When such relations were sabotaged I didn't care.

The part that I struggle with most is how I much I care to help other people, how much I give knowing that it does jeopardize what is best for me long term, and knowing they'd never make sacrifices for a kafir like me. It is not easy.

When you're powerful though, secured position, secured wealth..they tend to treat you different because they need you. Muslims or not. People in general are that pity and agenda driven.

I had existential depression since my sister's death.

I often feel male ex-muslims probably have it worse than I do.

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Miram · 31-35, F

@BittersweetPotato i wish they add the option to heart avatars. Yours is so so so so adorable

BittersweetPotato · 31-35, F

@Miram Ok I never viewed the male/female thing from this angle. before. Because I never disclosed my true beliefs etc. I always thought males have much easier if they were going to hide it.. because they have so much more freedom and so can do more with their lives with being called out on it or questioned.. whereas for females, probably you will have to lie a lot more.. But I get your point. I think bottom line is that it sucks very much for both.

BittersweetPotato · 31-35, F

Even with the big nose!! 🥺🥔 Then it is settled, you will adopt potato 🥔🥺❤️🥴🤗

BlueVeins · 22-25

If nothing else, leaving religion puts the world, collectively another step closer to a secular world where reason wins out. If everyone was as willing to put empirical evidence first as you are, we'd all live much happier lives, just sucks that the in-between is so painful.

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EarthlingWise

@BittersweetPotato I beg to differ. Your attitude makes a difference. One + one + One + One..........

BittersweetPotato · 31-35, F

@EarthlingWise I get what you are saying.. What I am saying, wahat is the point if this attitude is "hidden" and replaced with a lot of pretending.. also, my previous attitude wasn't exactly nasty.

BlueVeins · 22-25

@BittersweetPotato It's true that you being non-religious changes little individually, but once we have enough people rejecting religion, suddenly hiding it becomes a lot less necessary. And yeah, I'm sure you did minimal harm and behaved well, but religious moderatism ultimately does benefit religious fanaticism by supporting the tenants of the latter's belief. In a society of religious moderates, anyone arguing against fundamentalists have to walk a fine line of saying that the religious book is holy but that it's not meant to be taken literally or obeyed strictly to this day. In a society of nonreligious folks, anyone arguing against fundamentalists can just point out that the whole faith is fiction, at which point the burden of proof falls upon the fundamentalists to prove an absurd and indefensible point.

PiecingBabyFaceTogether · 31-35, M

It was a simple life in deed but we just couldn't keep faking it. A lot of Muslims know that their religion is unfair but they just don't put a lot of thought into finding the real meaning behind things and would rather just live with religion as it is.

Once I realized that M. himself was just another criminal I just couldn't get that out of my head even in case God is innocent the prophet will never be not in a million years. We were lied to.

He's the reason we're suffering he's the reason why I have to lie to my family everyday.

I recently watched an episode of "بكل وضوح" by Brother Rachid the Moroccan man who got into Christianity after leaving Islam. He wrote a message to Muhammad and the episode actually got a bit intense emotionally for me. A viewer even made this theory that Islam came from the devil to destroy previous religions and end them for good. Not that other religions are totally innocent but that was an interesting theory.

BittersweetPotato · 31-35, F

@PiecingBabyFaceTogether I do not like Rachid much... To be fair, I never watched an entire episode for him, and maybe the fact that the first time I saw something for him is when I was still a believer and of course I despised him instantly, is a contributor that I just continued to dislike him. I think Hamed Abdel Samad mentioned him once or twice in his show, and though I respect Hamed a lot and I am ADDICTED to what he has to present, I still don't like Rachid. The very fact that he turned to Christianity makes me feel that he just chose another lie to believe because it is much easier. Islam very much resembles Christianity and Judaism, it is copied from there, so i find it difficult to think that oh Christianity is now the absolute truth, especially that the Bible is filled with all sort of crap! This is why I do not like him, i feel he is not true to himself.

PiecingBabyFaceTogether · 31-35, M

@BittersweetPotato I totally agree that there's this un understandable part about him and Hamed did bring this up when Rachid was on one episode with him.

Hamed is definitely more true tp himself and I like how he's just taking a break from everything now and is just enjoying life. He's done more than enough. If I were Rachid I'd get bored lol that's all I'm saying I only watch a selection of his episodes I'd never watch them all they are over a thousand.

On some episode he brings up pretty good arguments to be fair though. And he seems like a peaceful person that's why I can watch him like a couple of times a year lol

JimboSaturn · 51-55, M

The truth is always better than lies even if it does not lure you into some pleasant fantasies.

Yes it is hard, but it causes you to grow as a person and think more.

BittersweetPotato · 31-35, F

@Miram @Nanori @PiecingBabyFaceTogether I wonder if any of you can relate to some of what I am saying.

EarthlingWise

You can still pretend nothing has changed, get back into the habit, grow old and forget you ever doubted the whole thing.

BittersweetPotato · 31-35, F

@EarthlingWise Because life is THAT simple.

EarthlingWise

@BittersweetPotato It can be if we decide to wear blinkers.

BittersweetPotato · 31-35, F

@EarthlingWise I don't think that would work. Not that I am trying hard to forget and go back.

Lilnonames · F

Like this song

[media=https://youtu.be/RJoA4dGbGqs]

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