Belifes and some thought

When I remember my life before losing my faith, it was soooooooo much more simple. I didn't have any existential crisis. I could relate to my family and everyone around me. I didn't have identity crisis. My perception of right and wrong matched what I have been taught, so I didn't struggle much. Losing faith is much easier when you have been raised in a secular society, it doesn't shake you as hard as it does, when you were brought up in a conservative society, with strong family connection, and when religion is still pretty much dominant and respected everywhere.

My life changed and it will never go back the same, until I die. Sometimes I wonder if it is worth it. I mean, yea there are many bad things in religion, but then, I was one of the good ones, who believed in it all, but would never act on it, or even knew of it much. I mean, whenever people said my religion was a violent one, I didn't even believe it, let alone act on it. So whether I believed or not, I did not make much of a difference in the world.. but believing or not, did make a huge difference in my life.. it brought me so much anxiety and huge identity struggles and fears.. it destroyed my relationships and it made my life soooo freaking complicated...

Sometimes I wish I'd go back just one day when life was simple and everything was figured out for me.