Anxious
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Quiet day of packing.

Well Joel's at work, his ex wife came and got the boys. She asked Sissy if she wanted to come but she said no thanks. I'm a little worried it's hurting her feelings when she tells her no. I know she likes her but it takes her a long time to trust people. Plus I don't think Sissy wanted me to be alone all morning. So it's just me and her and the hamster. Very quiet house right now.

Tomorrow we close on the house and sign all the paperwork. The house will be ours July 1st. We're going to move all our stuff over during the week and plan on our first day living there on the 4th! I'm so anxious right now that something will go wrong last second and we'll loose the house.

I feel very jumpy today too and I hate that feeling.

This new sleep pills have been helping. But even with the pill I didn't fall asleep until 3am. I didn't even hear Joel leave for work and I always get up with him. I slept in until 9. The boys left at 9:30. It was so funny hearing our youngest the Joels ex the very long and detailed story about him getting stung. So Sissy and I are going to pack until Joel gets home have lunch and hopefully have almost everything boxes except things we can't go without.
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4meAndyou · F
You are doing it! You are making your way through this wonderful but stressful experience in the best way possible! YOU are a champ!!!!
Cigarguy101 · 41-45, M
@4meAndyou thanks but I don't feel like it. I feel like I'm struggling and letting everyone down because I can't focus on things.
I am missing to many things, like my boy not wearing his sandals outside, not getting more honey.
4meAndyou · F
@Cigarguy101 My dear, precious boy...NO ONE on planet earth is perfect every moment. NO parent EVER catches every thing at every moment.

You HAVE to remember that you are HUMAN, and NO human can meet the standard of perfection you are setting for yourself.

You think you are falling down on the job because you haven't met perfection? You are NOT. Instead, you are beyond admirable. You are DOING this.
Cigarguy101 · 41-45, M
@4meAndyou I know but I don't work that way. When ever something goes wrong I think 3 things
Say my boy stepping on the bee

Why didn't I see and prevent
I should of noticed he didn't have his sandals on

What can I do to fix it
In this case cleaning him up and calming him down

Last how do I prevent it

I beat myself up with this over and over

It's my fault
I shouldn't of let it happen
And I failed him
That's what I think.

I've been trying to work on this for years with my therapist
4meAndyou · F
@Cigarguy101 Here's a tip...that...
It's my fault
I shouldn't of let it happen
And I failed him
...is your Monster of a Mother speaking inside your head.

Isn't it time you mentally visualized stuffing a dirty sock in her mouth and shutting her up at long last?